4 Years of Craziness

Today, Crazy is 4! We had his party this weekend, and he had a blast. This is his 2nd year of wanting a Spiderman birthday. Totally fine with me, I get to re-gift with the gift bags from last year! lol



Crazy is my miracle baby. I call him that because it took us 3 long years to get pregnant with him. Despite being on fertility meds and going through un-godly amounts of poking and probing from doctors I still was not able to get pregnant. Defeated by it all, we gave up. Quit the meds, quit the doctors. Then Hubs leaves for a 6 month deployment, comes back, and after 3 months of "catching up", lol, Crazy came into our lives. See, all it takes is a little time away!!!



He's my Crazy Boy!







This is the lizard that came to see Crazy this weekend for his birthday party. Ok, if you see him next to that bicycle peddle, he is about the size of it, but a bit longer. He was HUGE. He scared the living daylights out of me when I saw him.

Smack That Ass

Alright Everyone, give that ass a good wallop.

That one's for the Wings.

My Boys wiped the ice with Colorado last night, which means we have won that series.

Now who's next on the list??

I Need a Hero

Well not me, but I am assuming that's what the little Desert Tortoise was saying as it was trying to cross the road yesterday.

I, Choppzs was the hero this little turtle had long been searching for.

After a long, hot, strenuous journey, this little turtle had almost reached it's destination, but standing in it's way was this fast moving, busy highway.

It contemplated turning around.

It contemplated making a run for it. Or at least trying.

It contemplated just sitting there and basking in the sun.

It hoped to it's Turtle God that someone, shining like a beacon of light, would come and rescue it from an almost untimely death.

And I, Choppzs was that beacon of light.

Let me tell you the story.

A couple weeks back, as I was sitting in the bathroom getting ready for the day, I heard a public service announcement on the local radio station about how to preserve the desert tortoise species. I have heard it many times, but this time I listened and thought out loud to Hubs.

"Have you ever seen a desert tortoise?"

"No, I don't think so." He says

"Hmmm, do they bite?" I said that because the only turtles I had ever encountered growing up were snapping turtles.

"Umm, no, I don't think so" He says

"Wouldn't it be cool to see one?"

"Yeah, sure" He says

I sat there and thought of the radio announcement. It said you should never disturb a desert tortoise unless it is in harms way. If you should encounter a desert tortoise that is in danger, you should use a towel or some other article of clothing to gently pick up by it's shell as to not contaminate it, or yourself with bacteria. Move it slowly and in the direction it was facing until it is out of harms way. Then let it be.

Then yesterday, as we were driving back from Girly's school, there he was. On the side of the road, just enough past the white line to where I had to swerve into the other lane to make sure he didn't get hit. At first, I assumed it was some sort of debris, but then i realized it was a turtle.

"Girly, did you see that?"

"See what?"

"That was a turtle"

"Awww, was it?"

"Yeah, should we go move it, so it doesn't get hit?"

"Yeah, but do you know how?"

"Of course my Dear, I am a dedicated desert citizen. I have listened intently to the public service announcements on the local radio station, and have educated myself with local literature about the beloved desert tortoise!

No that's not what I really said, but it was close.

"Yeah, duh, haven't you heard the radio?" is more like it.

"Ok, let's go get him" she says.

So we whip a Uey and pull up behind him.

I tell Girly to hop out and take a look. Who knows if we will ever see a desert tortoise again. The poor boys were just stuck sitting in their car seats.

We look at him for a moment, deciding whether he is already dead, or just inside his shell. I assumed he was still alive cause he didn't look hurt or injured.

I ran back to the truck, opened the back, found a blanket that I keep in the truck and ran back.

Just as I was running back to Girly and the turtle, Mr. Shonson drives up and pulls over to see what was the matter with us. He nearly missed the turtle with his back wheel. All the while, I am screaming at him to stop. Again, Mr. Turtle has nearly escaped death.

I put the blanket gently over his back. He was about the size of a dinner plate. I picked him up ever so lightly and begin to slowly cross the busy highway.

As I was carrying him, still thinking he might already be dead, under the blanket I feel his little legs pop out and I see his head peer at me from under the blanket.

Holy Crap if I didn't start to move a little faster. That scared the beejeebees out of me!

I walked up over the hump on the other side of the highway, and laid him gently on the ground.

I grabbed the blanket and stepped back. He sat for a moment, all arms and legs out. Then slowly began to move away.

"Goodbye Mr. Turtle" I said as I wiped a tear from my eye.

No, I didn't cry, that was just for the effect of the story.

But I did wave to the little guy, climbed back over the hill, jumped in the truck and drove off. Knowing i had done my good deed for the day.

Then I thought, shit, I didn't get a picture. That sucks! But whatchya gonna do??

Mr. Turtle will be forever grateful, and name his children after me.

Choppzstle

Turtzs

and Turchoppzs

And that is the story of Choppzs, The Turtle Whisperer.

Oh What a Night

Hubs went for his "man night" yesterday.

So that means I had to entertain the kiddos after multiple crying bursts of

"I want Daddy"

"I want to go camping toooooooo!"

"Whens Daddy coming home?"

So we went to Lu Lu's Farm up the road and petted some horses and kitties, and watched some cows at the dairy.

The kids loved the cats, and had fun feeding the horses some treats.

Then I had my "Ladies Night" after the baths were done and kids were in bed.

My Ladies Night consisted of,

scrubbing toilets

washing down bathroom sinks

vacuuming floors

dishes

and then watching 2 hours of dramatic reruns of America's Next Top Model.

I'm Pathetic! lol

If Looks Could Kill....

Then that bitch at the gate would be dead.

Ok, so see this.

I go to the base yesterday to take some of the girls that work with Hubs their candles.

I have the new truck, which means I have no base sticker at the moment.

But even when I had a base sticker, this woman (a short little bitch with WAY to much makeup), always refuses to let me go through without a hassle.

Ok, now don't get started on me about the security of the base, and how she's just doing her job, and blah blah blah.

I know it all. We were in the Corps for 8 yrs. and lived on multiple bases. So I know the rules, I know their jobs. I have no problem with them doing their jobs. But this woman, I swear, just loves to torment me.

And this woman wasn't even a Marine. They have gone to hiring rent-a-cops for the base now. She's a fricken Rent-A-Cop!

So anyways, i get up there. I flash my driver's license (since I no longer have my military I.D.) and get ready to pull out the new trucks insurance and registration. She looks at me.

"Can i ask where you are going Mam?"

*No Bitch you can't* is what i am thinking, but instead, "Yes, i am going to Warehouse ***"

"Can I ask what for?"

*Once again NO*, but instead, "Yes, i am delivering lunch and candles"

"Candles?"

*Deep breath Choppzs*, "Yes, candles, if you are interested I hosted my Partylite Party and am here to deliver the candles to the people who bought them from my Hub's shop. But remember, if you must search, you break it, you buy it" hahahahaha I thought it was a bit snazzy and kind of sarcastic but she didn't seem to get a kick out of it.

"Mam, I am here to inform you that you must be sponsored to get on base, and therefore, since you don't have the paperwork stating that you are allowed on the base, I can't let you through. Do you have a cell phone?"

"Yes, i do"

"Then I need you to pull off base, and park over there outside the gate. Then you need to call your husband, have him call the dispatch number and then he will be phoned to me. He will have to inform me that he is sponsoring you on base, and then I will let you through."

*F*ck you* but instead, "Uh mam, I have been over here several times before. All the other gate guards let me through with no problem, especially since i have a base sticker on my vehicle. Granted, I don't have one now, because it's a new vehicle and Hub's hasn't gotten it over to get me a new one, but why is it that you always insist on not letting me through. The last time, even with the base sticker you made my husband call you. None of the other guards have ever told me I have had to be sponsored."

"Well mam, in order for you to gain access to this base, you must be sponsored by someone that works here"

*No shit lady, I just said that to you, i understand that* "I understand that, but why would I have to be sponsored if i have a base sticker?"

"Mam, a base sticker doesn't mean anything. If you don't have a military i.d. or a DOD i.d. then we do not have to let you on base."

"Then what the hell good is it for me to get a base sticker?"

"Mam, that lets us know that your vehicle has been registered with the base."

"Ok, so if my vehicle has been registered under the base, and the vehicle is registered under me, wouldn't that mean that they have me on record at the base?"

"Now mam, I am asking you pull outside of the gate and wait for me to wave you in"

Bleepity, bleep, bleep,bleep,bleep, bleep, bleep.

I whip a U, and park just outside the gate. Call Hubs. Tell him the situation. After a couple minutes she waves me up to the gate.

*Ok mam, I need to see your license, registration and proof of insurance.*

Oh holy shit no. The whole time we sat here you didn't ask for it. I was even going to pull it out for you until you started blabbing.

So after pulling the crap out, and handing it over, she says..

"So this is a new vehicle mam?"

OH MY GOD DID WE NOT JUST HAVE A CONVERSATION? WAS IT ALL MY IMAGINATION?

"Yes, this is a new vehicle. The registration is taped to the window. If you would like to look at it, you can take it off of there and then put it back on. It's a pain in the ass."

"No that's ok mam, i believe you."

"Uh ok"

"So next time you come on base Mam, make sure you have the base sticker, and the sponsor card that your Hubs can get for you. You will attach it to your window next to your base sticker."

As soon as I saw that hand come up to wave me through, I booked it.

"I'll give you your motherf*cken sticker, you stupid bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep"

The kids were in the car mind you, so they probably thought I was loony muttering things under my breath.

Then as i got far enough away, for good measure, she got a lovely little wave hello. With 1 finger.

It was a long morning.

A Little Imagination

~Hot, sweaty bodies.





~You can hear the trains roaring and the numbing, loud noise exploding through your head. A burst of adrenaline seers your veins.





~He pushes you up against the wall.





~You fight each other in the heat of the moment for that surge of power.





~Explicit words and promises of pain seep through your lips.





~Bodies all over the place. Hands grabbing.





~The sweat is dripping. You can feel his heat against your body.





~ A smile spreads across your lips in satisfaction as you gain control of him. Submission.






~Then an explosion. You see stars. You hear the noise.






~ A huge wave of pleasure engulfs your body.










GOOOOOAAAALLLLL!!!



Winning a hockey game could be so close to having an orgasm don't ya think?



My boys won against the Nashville Predators!



I love my WINGS!

That's Where My Money Goes

Holy Crap.

The only thing I can say is...

WACHOVIA SUCKS!

I hope the whole world comes to this blog and never gives this bank their business again.

As you all know, we purchased the new truck. The van's loan was paid in full and then some. This stupid bank did not stop the direct deposit they had from our other bank after they received their money and proceeded to still take out a van payment the other day.

We all know what happens when more money comes out of your acct. then you have available.

That's right. Multiple bounced transactions.

So after not being able to cover all these transactions, our bank starts to tack on 25$ fees for insufficient funds.

Ohhhhh, were we pissed.

Luckily our bank was good about it, took off the charges, and is now disputing the transaction with Wachovia.

Then yesterday Wachovia had the balls to tell us that we had no proof that they took the money out of our account.

Uh yeah assholes, we do.

1. Here's a bank statement.

2. Here's a bank representative from the other bank that will confirm it.

3. And I am sure if you were smart enough to look up our acct. records since that is your job as a Wachovia rep, you would see a direct deposit into our acct on the 14th even AFTER the acct. was paid off.

And for good measure...

If you would speak F*CKEN ENGLISH ASSHOLE, or at least take a class in it, maybe you would understand what the hell we were talking about.

Windy Days and Tuesdays Always Get Me Down

This weekend was a good one. Hubs and I got to go out on Saturday night for our anniversary. Without the kiddos. We got food, drinks, played mini golf, and got stopped at a DUI checkpoint. Fun times I tell ya!

Luckily for us, the cop wasn't a dick. I mean especially after we fessed up to having a drink with our dinner and had an expired car insurance stub. lol

No, we are not driving illegally, we do have current insurance, I just haven't gotten off my lazy butt to print it out off of the computer. He let us off with a warning and told us to be sure we have our current insurance in the vehicle from now on. If he knew me, he wouldn't have been so easy on us cause Hubs is still driving around with those expired papers and it's Tuesday! lol

Sunday was a good day for yard work. We worked our asses off. The side yard looks a hellofallot better, and Hubs and I are both burned on our shoulders and necks. We were smart enough to lube up the kids, but not so much ourselves. The kiddos ran through our not so new, but haven't worked in years, and Hubs got them working yard sprinklers. I still can fathom what the assholes who lived here before us were thinking when they put this property together. Shit is just all over the place.

Today is another lovely windy day. Can you hear the sarcasm dripping. In case you couldn't tell, yes, I am being sarcastic. The wind here sucks royal donkey butt. It's sunny and warm, but the minute you walk out you get blasted with 70 mph winds mixed with a whole crap load of sand. Lovely for the skin, yes (makes for a great exfoliate), but a mouthful of dirt really sucks. It usually goes in spurts. 3 or 4 days of wind, 1 or 2 days without. Mother Nature must have it out for somebody.

Just You and I....

11 Years

1. You had some awesome hair when we were dating. I completely dug the long hair. But you did spend more time and put more product in it then any other guy I know! Oh and you did good when you picked me out of the 3 girls! lol

2. The Marine Corps changed our lives. I thank you for taking the risk, getting us the hell out of that shithole town we grew up in, and joining the Corps. We were young, yes, but we have beaten the odds. And we all know where we would be now if you hadn't joined, and we still lived back home. The Marine Corps made us who we are today. Semper Fi!

3. No matter what anyone says....

You can't beat the Marine Corps Uniforms.

And you were smokin hot in them uniforms!

4. I love your loyalty. To your family, friends and even your work. You may not like it sometimes, but you can still be counted on to do your job and do it 110%.

5. I love that you are not afraid of nasty, stinky poopy diapers. You can do a mean diaper change job!

6. I love how if I don't answer the phone the first time, you try at least 3 more times to call back. Then if I don't answer, you call friends. If they don't answer, you start to panic. By then, I am usually out of the shower and then I call you back. It lets me know you care that much.

7. I suck at Math, you suck at English. We balance each other out when it comes to Girly's schoolwork. I love that you will get down and help her with her math work, and most of the time you don't look at me like I am completely stupid (except for geography) when I don't know how to multiply fractions and crap. I said most of the time though!! lol

8. I love it that we are so different in our views on religion. I love it that we can agree to disagree, but still have a civilized and open conversation on our views. I also love that we can both agree that when those stupid solicitors come to our door asking us "Have you been saved?" that it is fun to screw with them, and make them feel like idiots, or threaten to call the cops if they don't get off the property. The same goes to telemarketers. We have ourselves some fun with telemarketers.

9. You will get down on the floor, or in the dirt and just go crazy with the kids. I love to see you playing with them. Your light show kicks ass ( just watch out for flying glow sticks lol )You are a great Daddy!

10. I love it when you try to keep secrets from me. It's a fun game. Because after 20 minutes of you knowing something that I don't, I get a call. I always know when you want to spill the beans on something. I always know when you are lying. Even over the phone. I can pretty much see your facial expression just by your tone of voice!

11. After 11 yrs. I believe I love you more now that I did on the day we got married. I know all your quirks. I know all your habits. We finish each others thoughts and sentences. I know what you can eat, and what will tear your ass up the next day. I know that when you drink 151 and get really messed up, I will be up till 4 in the morning making sure you don't have alcohol poisoning. I know I can count on you to bathe the kids, so you don't have to do dishes. Your coffee must be 1/3 coffee, 1/3 creamer, and 1/3 sugar. You will put Tabasco, Ketchup and Tony's on everything. After 11 Yrs. I love that I know you this well, and nobody else does!

I Love you Honey! Now lets go to Vegas for the weekend! lol

Drive

As promised, here are a couple pics of my new ride.

And because I can, and he's mine, I have decided to once again change my mind on his name. I was almost sure he looked like a "Fonz", but after a couple days driving him, and "Fonz" just wasn't coming out smoothly from my mouth, I have decided to switch his name to "Beauregard". The B theme has stuck with me, and after calling the van "Bessy" for 3 years, "Beauregard" flows much better.

And as you can see, Mr. Beaver has claimed his rightful seat on my dash. See, once again, the B. Bessy, Beauregard and Beaver. It just flows.

No one puts Beaver in the corner!

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you

Whoever made up that saying about waking up on the wrong side of the bed was dead on!

I don't know what it is, or why, but this morning has just made me One, Cranky, Bitch.

Nothing in particular happened. In fact it was a morning just like any other. But I have this urge to rip someones head off.

I decided I needed coffee. And of course, we are out. So I pack the kids up early to take Girly to school and head off to Starbucks.

All I hear the whole way is...

"What can I get mom?"

"Can I get coffee?"

"I'm hungry!"

"I want food!"

"Yummmmmmm, Yummmmmmmm!!!!!!!"

Holy Cow!!! Can't a cranky woman just get some damn coffee in peace?

Then Hubs calls me. We usually talk in the mornings before I get Girly to school just for our routine 5 minute chat. I had forgotten to call him, plus we left early so that's when he called me. Mid way through our conversation in the Starbucks drive-thru I was about to hang up on him. lol Nothing he was saying was different from any other day or morning, but all I could hear was "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!"
So I handed the phone over to Girly who proceeded to talk. lol So to you Hubs, it was not you, it was me! lol

Now that I got my coffee, and the kid's got their cream drinks, all has settled down.

I called Hubs back and talked civilly.

Now I must get the boys ready to go and get lunch, and go and get a new set of keys for my new toy.

Oh that's right, I didn't mention that did I?

I got me a new vehicle.

His name is Fonz! lol or at least for now till i come up with a suitable name for him.

He is a Ford Expedition. Charcoal grey. Big, beefy and totally more my style then the van.

I love him. And he doesn't fit in my garage!! lol

And as soon as i get off my lazy ass and charge my camera, I will take pics of my new boyfriend to show you all!!

Cursed

Okay, can anyone tell what it is about the Dollar Store that makes kids act like those wild monkeys at the zoo who poo in their hands and throw it at you?

I have taken my children to the Dollar Store twice this last week (I know stupid me) and they look like chickens with their heads cut off as soon as they set foot through those doors.

I literally lost track of Crazy Boy twice on our first trip in that God forsaken store.

I was that mad woman who was yelling at the top of her lungs for her children to get their asses back to me or I was gonna whoop them.

Then, I was stupid enough to take them again yesterday, but I thought I would be good, i had backup. My friend Lue Lue came with me.

No. Backup does not equal better behavior.

Backup just means double the women running around yelling "Get your asses over here!!!"

Backup just means you have children that run even faster to escape being stuck in a cart so they are confined.

But if you get my kids in say Walmart, or the grocery store? No, it's an ok experience.

There must be an ora or vibe that comes from that store that only children feel.

It's like they are hearing...

"Buy me, buy me, I'm only 1 dollar"

"Come on, you can get your mom to spot you a lowly dollar for this one crappy toy that will only last a day before it gets broken into pieces"

"It's only 100 pennies"

"It's only 4 quarters!"

"It's only 10 dimes"

"It's only 1 quarter, 2 dimes, 3 nickels, and 40 pennies!"


The creator of this store must have set it up just right. He or She must have sent some loony toon lady in there before the opening, with her robes, candles and hexxing tools to put a curse on that store before it's grand opening.

"Ahhhhh dear spirits from the other world. Please send down, upon this store, a sign. A sign of good fortune and wealth. Please put upon the customers that enter this store a curse. Let the children roam free and spend all their parent's money. Let the children gather as many items as they can and cry when they can only have 1 dollar. Let the parents have the knowledge that if they do not give their children this dollar, they will have the wrath of the devil bestowed upon them through their children."

Yep, I bet that's how it went.

Does anyone else have these type of experiences at the Dollar store??

Or are my kids just devils in disguise??

Hidden Video

I am having a hell of a time getting this video to post right. So anyways, I see it is underneath this one and should be working. One of my little boys got ahold of the camera at some point and must have gotten it working for 2 seconds. I found it when i downloaded my pictures that were on the camera. That is the result. Take a look! lol

Handprints on the Wall

It's been an interesting couple weeks. These 3, have been particularly rambunctious lately. Girly is on Spring Break and the boys have decided it's time to take Momma to the mental institution.


And although this happened a couple weeks back, I thought I would show you some art work that Baby Boy decided to bless my house with. And because I see it every single time I walk back to the bedrooms and I am reminded.



That my friends is permanent Sharpie marker. ON MY HALLWAY WALLS! There are numerous other markings sporadically drawn throughout the house, but this one is the worst. Lovely isn't it? Even Mr. Clean Eraser could not remove it. So now I must go out and find the paint that we used to paint the house and cover it up. That wall, plus my bathroom door, my bedroom door, Girly's door, and another part of the hallway wall. Luckily the coffee tables, and dressers were easily cleaned with my beloved Mr. Clean Eraser (gotta love those things! lol)

I am sitting here waiting for Mr. Terminix guy to show up. It is time for our 3 month spraying. We've been seeing allot more of the spiders, flies and beetles since the weather has warmed up. Hopefully they will all die! lol

I am preparing for my Partylite Party on Saturday. I love those candles. And to put it bluntly, I only have the parties so I can get free stuff. I will stock up on candles with 1 party that way I don't need to buy them for the next 6 months. I am a candle freak. I love to try new scents and burn them day and night. And these candles are the best I have had yet. Expensive? Yes. But worth it? Definitely. I am excited to see how much credit I get off this party!

Our new windows are doing great. You wanna know how much our gas bill went down? Come on, do ya?? Almost 150 bucks!!! It went down by almost half!! Un-freaken-believable! I was so happy! Plus it helps that the heat isn't on during the day any more and stuff, but we still have it on at night. Whooohooo!

And the new word of the day..courtesy of Crazy Boy....Pentagon! lol Don't ask, I am assuming it's from Dora or Diego or something! lol

Another Thank You Note....

Holy Crap, I better just say this now before I get another 2 weeks worth of bitching. lol

Dear Hubs and Mr. Shonson,


You both have fixed my kitchen lights like no other could.

Where I couldn't see before, is now bathed in a pool of beautiful sunshiny like light.

I now have enough light to properly make you the robust, sumptuous feast you both so deserve.

And the way you climb that ladder....whooooo, that's Hot!

You're Beautiful

Now, I present you all with a couple "before and after" shots of my new windows. These are the very same windows I have bitched about for several months now that are finally in and completed.


This would be my kitchen window. The old window was your standard metal frame, piece of shit window.

Then, here is my new vinyl, wonderful, insulated window. I can see out it, I can open it, AND... it keeps the heat in and cold out! lol















And, here is a pic of one of the front bay windows, at the front of the house. I just loved those awesome shutters. I thought they were pieces of art that made the house unique, but alas, they took them off and now they are pieces of art for the patio until I can get them in a garbage bin to be hauled away. Just kidding....lol....they looked like shit, and I was so happy to see them go. Gutter Shutters is how I like to refer to them.

I love the new windows.






See me?? Anyone?? lol

Ass Backwards

Our new windows and doors are in and DONE! Hallelujah!

My 4th child is sick again today. Looks as if the flu is going around (once again), and now that he is sick, that means the kids and I will be next. I swear it is worse taking care of him then it is the "real" kids.

I am getting more pissed off by the minute the more I read about that stupid law saying that homeschooling is illegal now in California. The country is going to hell in a hand basket. It's turning into one big communist mess. I send my kids to public school, so no, I don't home school. But who the hell is the government to say how we educate our children. If someone feels they can do a better job with their own children, or have different views or ways of educating, then so be it. Let them decide how they want their children to be educated. It's f*cked up I tell ya!

Wonder Pets is one messed up show! lol

Lovin the Beetles!

I am so digging the ladybug background. I know, I know, the piggies were super cute, but ladybugs have got to be my all time favorite.

Now that I have spent the last hour redoing my friends list, and adding my pics back on, I am going to put the squirts to bed and take myself a nap.

Did you know that an afternoon nap as short as 20 minutes can enhance alertness, mood, and mental performance, especially after a night of poor sleep. And did you know too, that a nap that lasts an hour or longer is more likely to make you feel drowsy the rest of the day??

Aaaahhaaaa, I bet you didn't know that did ya? I'm so smart.

So now because I don't care if I am drowsy or not, I am going to go sleep for 2 hours. Sounds like a plan!

Peace out Peeps! lol

WHY?

6:30 am

Crazy: Momma, Boogie's awake.(Boogie is Baby Boy's nickname, and he is still in a crib which means he can't get himself out of bed. lol)

Me: Ok, I'll be up in a minute.

Crazy: Why?

Me: Because I need a minute to get up and get a couple things done. He'll be fine, go talk to him.

Crazy: Ok.


6:45 am

Crazy: Momma are you comin?

Me: Yes Crazy, just one more minute. Let me make my bed.

Crazy: Why?

Me: Because I like my bed straightened up.

Crazy: Why:

Me: Because I don't like it messy.

Crazy: Ok.


7:00 am

Crazy: Momma I want juice.

Me: Ok, just give me a minute to get Baby Boy dressed.

Crazy: But Momma, I want juice nooooowwwwwww! *insert whiny, annoying voice*

Me: Just give me a minute and I'll get you and Baby Boy some breakfast.

Crazy: Why?

Me: Because I am right in the middle of dressing your brother and you.

Crazy: Why?

Me: Because you need to get dressed.

Crazy: But why?

Me: Because when I go out and off myself and your daddy comes home and finds me, and the police show up and all the news people come to the house, I want you to be dressed and looking good.

Crazy: Huh?? *insert raised eyebrow and a look of complete and utter confusion*


See how the word "why" can drive someone to insanity?

And that was just this morning. I bet I can add at least another 3 or 4 dozen why's to the rest of the days tally by tonight!!

Feeling a bit sentimental....

The drama has passed, but as I am sure as the sun will rise, the drama will ensue once again today. Drama follows me (Drama is also defined as Girly, Crazy and Baby Boy and they are always right at my heels).

The oven has been put in. It is a beautiful sight. Except for the 6 inch gap/space that is above the oven where the old oven used to fill. Ahh well, it works, that's all I care about. For now. Until Hubs can get something to cover that space! lol Don't take to long on that now Hubs! ;) We will be getting a check from the warranty place for having to install it ourselves. Yes, the appliance guy came out, took the old oven out, put the new one in, and left. He didn't hook it up, he didn't plug it in, he didn't do a damn thing. So we complained. What the hell? We could have done that ourselves. So we told that to the warranty place, and now we will get paid for installation!! Good deal.

I started this morning feeling good (although I still need more coffee and a good hot shower) but then after reading a couple blogs I got to feeling sentimental. Goodbyes were said, and even though I have never had the pleasure of meeting in person, blogger friends have become an important part of my daily life. I have become involved in their lives, met their children (whether they be human or of the canine nature), gone through births, deaths and loves lost and found. I have read about daily rituals, and how they perceive things. Their thoughts, feelings, and inner workings (Literally, I know that veggies don't agree with allot of people lol). Makes me sad to see one of those people go.

And in watching those goodbyes transpire, I saw people's reactions and feelings come through. And it brought back memories as a young girl, and how everything used to make my stomach turn, and I'd get butterflies. How sitting in anticipation of someones arrival could make me so sick I would have to throw up. How just a look could make me melt. If I could take away one good thing from growing up and going through all the B.S of love, it was that. Those feelings may have resulted in heartache and tears, but those feelings are priceless.

Drama

My life is one big drama series. Period.

Titleless (is that a word?)

Please tell me why they replaced lovable Daniel Cook with this newbie Emily Yeung?? Daniel was way cooler, and much much cuter.







Why does the lady at the school insist on waving me forward like a madman at the drop off site. Do I look like I don't know where to drop my kid off? Do I look lost? Don't you see me EVERY single morning dropping her off at the same time in the same place? She must be thinking something along those lines as she repeatedly throws her hands up in the air as if she halting me to stop. I am half tempted to hit the gas and run her ass over. Then she'd definitely remember me.

I must be going, I have to make a few phone calls and settle some shit.

Oh and the new oven should be getting installed tomorrow. Gosh, i can finally make that lasagna!!! lol

Well....

Well Friday we finally got our new stove!!!

You wanna see it??

It's beautiful.

Just what I have always wanted.
















Yep, that's it. Our new stove. It's working so well in that there box. Those dickheads at the warranty place had the stupid thing delivered, but not installed. So now we have to wait another who knows how long to have that stupid warranty place get ahold of an appliance guy who can install it. Bastards.

On a good note, I finally got my new specs. Cost an assload, but now I can see, and I don't have headaches anymore.

See....

And I got to get my hair done too. Isn't it perty?? lol

Holy crap, the spellcheck is working now!!! lol

Nothing....

Ok, just a quick question for all my peeps out there.

Did anyone else experience anything weird with your electronic stuff on Tuesday?

I am asking only because that was the day our cells went out. Our internet went out. All the local phone companies went out. All the credit card machines at stores and resteraunts were not working. And the local banks couldn't do any transactions either.

So did this happen anywhere else but here? Just curious.

So yah, nothing else.

Just me and my broken glasses so I can't see eyes. Sucks. Headaches galore. Now our stupid insurance is telling us we have certain coverage and these are our providers, but the provider in our area is telling us they don't accept it. Now it looks as if Lenscrafters will once again be getting our business. Money grubbing, expensive bastards.

On a good note, our stove comes tomorow morning sometime. Now i can buy that pizza and keep it warm!! lol

Hell in a Handbasket

It's that spy sattelite I tell ya.

Somethings up with that thing we are suppose to shoot down. lol

These last couple weeks, it's been nothing but 1 bad thing after another.

A couple weeks ago, like Sissy, we had a flat on the van. It was noticed the day after we had to take it into the shop to get the passenger window replaced because the motor went out.

Last week, my glasses were stepped on by a well known little Crazy Boy. They are done. Even Hubs tried to epoxy them back together just so I wouldn't get my headaches from not wearing them, and even that only last a day.

We still don't have an oven. Friday is suppose to be the day they bring one to us!

Today, as I was on the phone with the eye doctor, the phones went out. It wouldn't have been such a big deal except a couple weeks ago we disconnected our local home phone and have just been using our cells. That sucked. Cingular sucks!

And as I went to get on the computer to IM Hubs to ask him if it was all phones or just mine, the internet went down. Go figure.

Now that I am able to get back on the internet, and our cells are working again, I tried to call the eye doctor back. "We are sorry, the local phone company is experiencing technical problems. Please try your call again later." Yah, somethings up.

The weather today is kind of eerie. Is that how you spell that?? lol It's hazey, and cloudy, and looks almost like it could rain. I like the gloomy stuff, but the rain I could do without. Why you ask? Because we still haven't gotten our new damn windows and I don't feel like dealing with another leaky window!!! lol Yes, incase you were wondering, they were suppose to be installed last week. They called and said it would be delayed by a couple weeks. More shit!

And to top it ALL off, the kids are all sick. Again. Horrible hacking cough, fevers, and stuffy, runny noses.

Hell in a handbasket I tell ya. That's what this world is coming too! Or at least mine! lol

Potty Training 101

I swear I just started and finished with Crazy! But now it's Baby Boy's turn. He just turned 2, but is Very interested in some good potty action.

He is currently walking around with just a shirt and socks. He refused to put on his pants. I have only had to clean up 1 pee pee mess so far this morning. I am dreadfully waiting for the poo action to start.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that he will be my easy boy. Crazy was sooooo hard to train and the messes were endless. He still has accidents at night, and I am clueless as to how to fix that problem. I am investing in plastic pants to put over his underwear and hopefully get rid of those stupid pull-ups. I hate those things. He will get up once or twice a night to use the potty, but any other time he just goes in his pants. His naptimes are completely dry (without pull-ups)and hasn't had an accident since he started. But nights, they are a different story.

So I am hoping to have 2 completely potty trained kids soon.

Ughhh, I hate this part!!!

MIA

I will post in bullets because I suck like that!

• We are waiitng on our new windows. I am so excited. Within the next 2 wks. we will have all new windows and doors and I'll be able to open them up and let the wonderful spring air in. And...they'll keep all this damn sand out. Yahhhh
• We got our taxes done. It is so nice to pay off family debt early!!! ( You know what I mean Beth!)
• We still have no oven. Our damn oven broke over 2 weeks ago while Beth was here and the stupid warranty place is dicking us around. They called to finally tell us that they have ordered us an oven, but it is slightly bigger then the one we have now. Which means the space will have to be modified to fit it. But...the warranty doesn't cover that! Assholes. So that means we have to pay the place to modify the wall. Either that, or attempt to let Hubs do it. Ummm...I think we'll pay someone. You never know what you will get if you let Hubs loose with tools in the house! lol (I love ya Hon!)
• I HATE ROOSTERS!
• I have been woken up every morning at approximately 4 am by those rat bastards. It's not even light yet you jerks! Soon those neighbors will be without 2 roosters. And if their damn donkeys don't shut their holes, they will be without those jackasses too! lol
• Did I mention I love living in the country! lol
• My boys have succombed to boy like fights.
• Fists, headbutting and hitting each other over the head with random objects.
• Crazy got one of my sauce pans over the head a few moments ago.
• Baby Boy is in the corner.
• It has been 70 degrees or warmer here during the day for the last couple days. It is beautiful spring weather. The boys and I spent all day outside yesterday doing random things. Washing cars, walking the property,playing with sidewalk chalk,and playing with all their outdoor toys. It kept them from fighting for a whole hour or so. Then they just couldn't take being nice anymore and the fight was on again.
• Baby Boy is in potty training mode. Everytime someone uses the potty, he has to be in there. He strips himself down naked, then sits on his little potty. No signs of tinkle yet, but at least he is eager to learn! I think he will be a quick learner!
• Girly is in teenager mode. I just got into it with her last night. She's doing the thing where no matter what I say to her or tell her to do she has to rebuke it and fight me on it. I had had it with the boys earlier in the day and just couldn't take it anymore. Later on, i had to suck it up and go in and talk it out with her and explain to her why I went off. Granted, she still should have done what I said without question (it was a simple request for her to pick up her mess), but I kinda was a bitch to her about it! lol I refuse to be like my parents were and just yell and bitch and send my kids to their room without talking to them about it and explaining why things are the way they are. I want communication. My sweet little girl is becoming a sassy young lady! Scary!

Well that's about it ladies and gents. I'm tired and need food! lol I'm thinking I will put the boys down for a nap so I can get at least an hour of uniterrupted television watching. I have like 2 days worth of Days to watch and everytime I get a free moment instead of relaxing I end up cleaning or laundry or whatever. Screw the house, I am going to be lazy! lol

Oh and my spell check isn't working for some reason.

Back to Norm

Sissy and Fam took off yesterday for home. It is eerily quiet around these parts! lol

I must say though, without all the constant bickering and tattling and hitting and screaming, it is mighty nice not having to yell every 2 seconds for someone to shut up! lol

It was lots of fun though, I definitly miss not having family closer!

One incident that still makes me laugh though is when Big Sissy (my neice) decided to get her Uncle's nose trimmer stuck in her hair! lol We were all out in the livingroom waiting for the next explosion of mouths when we realized it was all to quiet back in the boy's room. I went to look in on them and saw Big Sissy standing in the corner fiddling with something. I walked in and peeked around her. She was holding something in her hair, but it was massivley tangled and not at all about to come out! I then realized my bedroom and bathroom door were open and the drawers were wide open. It took her daddy and mommy a good half hour to get that thing untangled and at last had to take the scissors to a small chunk that would not come untangled. Beth and I both laughed and said "damnitt we should have taken pics to blog about it!" lol

But amongst all the chaos of their last day we did get some good group shots of the kids together.

My Baby is 2!!

Baby Boy turned 2 on Thursday! It baffles me that he is already that old. It seems like just yesterday we had him!! He's my little boogie!!



Beth is still here and we are having lots of fun. Despite the fact that our kids insist on driving each other insane with stealing toys, and hitting and smacking each other! lol It's nice having family here, there's always someone around to help out and keep me company!




Oh and here is my new tat! lol It's my new ladybug. She's still healing so that's why her color is not even! hehehehe

ALLLL Better!

Furnace is fixed. We have heat! Yahhhhh!!

Just got me 2 new tats! I will post pics when they are good to take off the wrap. I just finished them about 10 mins ago! lol I got me a new ladybug on my foot, and the ladybug I got almost 12 yrs. ago got a new leaf to sit on and hide his 2 extra legs that shouldn't have been there (he was a ladybug with 8 legs instead of 6 lol). I looked up the symbolism of ladybugs and it says....

"Cultures all over the world associate the fabled Ladybug with Good Luck and Good Fortune. For the English and French farmers it indicates good weather. In Sweden and other countries the Ladybug will bring Good Luck with finding your true love. Some Asian cultures believe that the Ladybug understands human language, and has been blessed by God. In Europe, during the Middle Ages, insects were destroying the crops, so the Catholic farmers prayed to the Virgin Mary for help. Soon the Ladybugs came, ate the plant-destroying pests and saved the crops! The farmers began calling the ladybugs "The Beetles of Our Lady", and they eventually became known as "Lady Beetles"! The red wings represented the Virgin's cloak and the black spots represented her joys and sorrows."

Isn't that neat?

Did I mention I love tattoos! lol So addictive.

Sissy comes to visit next week. Very excited about that. I am just happy that we have our furnace fixed and I don't have to worry about them having to stay at a hotel a couple extra days! We're good Beth! lol

Shoot me, kill me now please...

Furnace can't get fixed till Monday.

I'm still sick.

Went to take a nice hot shower to warm me up, got half way through and the water shut off.

The F*CKEN pipes are frozen.

I couldn't help it. I got out, freezing my ass off and just burst into tears.

What the hell else is gonna happen today?

Still Sick....and Cold

Still sick.

Nose still clogged, but runny.

Throats better,so I know gargling with peroxide helps.

But you know what sucks bigger balls?

Or the biggest balls?

Our furnace went out.

Lovely isn't it?

And don't give me no shit about living in sunny, warm California.

Or about how at least it isn't 20 degrees like it is in the East.

It's F*cken cold here.

I woke up to the thermostat saying 49.

And with three babies, it sucks.

The desert gets cold. Highs in the mid 50's lately, which is OK. But at night it's been high 20's.

Yes, it's cold.

So now I am waiting on the stupid insurance place to send a person. And I am pissed. And cold. And sick of wiping snot from my nose.

Don't give me no shit, I'm telling you what, I am liable to reach through this computer and choke your ass!

And that includes you Hubs, I know your not here and it's colder and snowing where you are, but at least your hotel has heat!!! And remember....you have to come back to me at some time!!!! lol (oh and I blame you for this....I bet you had it all planned, you leave and shit falls apart!!! You did didn't you?? lol)

Don't you hate it....

When you can only breathe through one nostril?

When you can't breathe through your nose at night, so you have to breathe through your mouth which leads to a sore throat and drool??

When you wake up and you cough but it's so dry that it keeps you coughing till you can get a drink of water?

When you can feel the shit in your chest, but you can't hack it up? Yummy, I know, but it's driving me nuts. I took me some Day quill, so I guess I'll see if it works.

If it's not the flu, it's a cold.

If it's not a cold, it's my damn allergies.

If it's not allergies, it's the kids.

If it's not the kids...Ahh hell who am I kidding, it's always something with them.

And I miss Hubs.....

He left me.....

For work.....

And I am sick......

I need something to drain the snot out of my nose.....

Why can't they invent something to relieve all that snot pressure?

They probably do.....

I'm just to damn lazy to go to the store and find it.

Differences of Opinion

Ok, I am all for people having their own opinions and views and all that happy horse crap. But what I hate, is when they try to shove their views and stuff down your throat. They are right, you are wrong. They know the statistics, you don't. They know what is right for everyone, and you are just neglecting to see the truth. I could give TWO shits what you view as right. Your throwing out statistics, and telling me I am wrong is not going to change my mind on things. You telling me that all along I have been lied too, and have been strung along is not going to make me go out and start a revolution and change my morals.

Yes, I am talking about all the political bullshit that is going on right now. I am all for change, and I am all for making America a better place to live for me and my children. But what I am not for is my "friend" shoving her political view bull crap in my face, and trying to make me feel like my opinions and views are all wrong. So I said something. I pretty much ripped her a new one. I guess we'll see how this one pans out.

Piece O Shite

Do you know what sucks worse then being woken up after just falling asleep at midnight?

When you are woken up by your almost 2 yr. old, whiny child because he is going through his I refuse to sleep in my bed stage.

Do you know what's worse then just having to put said whiny child back to his bed and letting him cry?

When you go into said whiny child's room and realize this his fricken window is flooding out because it has a humongous leak.

It's been raining about the last 3 days. More rain then I have seen since we moved here 3 yrs. ago. And the damn window is leaking. Onto new carpet, peeling off new paint, getting toys and books wet.

So, I have called 6 different places this morning and have scheduled 2 free estimates to get windows replaced. ALL the windows. Not going to be pretty, especially on the pocketbook..

Random pics

I have yet to get the pic of Hub's new tat, but as soon as I can get it, I will post it. Minus the youngins name! Yah, he's getting all the kid's names and a pic to represent their birth places tattooed on him.... just like me! lol What a copycat! lol But here are a couple pics of Christmas, and my new hair do, and one of my friend and I on New Years! I suck at figuring out just how far back I need to go to post pics, but these will have to do. Oh and Stacie, thanks for the postcard from Ohio, I am so glad you got there and back in one piece!

As I sit....

As I sit here and type, Hubs is getting his tattoo. lol I typed a whole post the other day talking about our bout with the flu, and Christmas, but damn blogger wouldn't post it. I even put in pics, but when I tried to post it, the stupid thing went dead. So, since Hubs is busy getting his artwork done, I will recap the last couple weeks. Seriously guys, I am not that sucky of a blogger, I tried, it's not my fault.

Everyone got the flu. That's right, it started with Girly, and ended with Hubs. Luckily though, no one was actually sick over Christmas. The day before, and after, but not on Christmas Day itself. The kids made a haul, and we had our friends over, and ate a great dinner. I will post pics when I get home and can get them off the regular computer.

New Years was fun. Got a little tipsy and rang in the new year with trains blaring. For at least 20 or so minutes, the trains in our area went nuts. It was actually neat. We played some darts and dominoes and just chilled out. I will post some pics of that too when I get a chance.

Well, I am going to go finish my cherry limeade (that's right, we are in a Sonic area which means I forced everyone to eat there! lol) and watch Hubs get inked. Next time it's my turn!! lol

Hope everyone has a great 2008! Merry late Christmas, Happy late New Year, and beware of the flu!!

Icky, Sicky Weekend

The flu has hit us hard!

First on Friday, we went to the mall so the kids could see Santa. Then, we went out to eat to celebrate Girly's excellent report card. We let her chose the restaurant and everything. She went with good ol Outback. lol Things were going well, the food was good, and everyone was happy.




And....after we got back from dinner, our friends were at the house and I was greeted with this...

That's right, this is the cherry limeade I had been after for the last couple months!
But, although the cherry limeade was excellent, it was not quite up to par.....

Does anyone else see what is missing in this photo???
That's right, after closing early on me, and depriving me of my cherry limeade, those bastards skimped on the cherries. I usually drink like a madman just to get down to the cherries. Ahhh well, it was good though!!! lol

But no sooner did dinner end, and we get home and get the kiddies to bed, the puking started. Girly got the brunt of it. She was sick all through the weekend. Today, it is Baby Boy's turn. White as a sheet, and I have done more wash then I care to admit! lol It seems to be coming out of every nuk and cranny that boy has! lol So as I am dealing with that today, i just know that within the next couple days, it will be Crazy's turn, then Hubs and mine. I just hope it comes and goes before Christmas!!

Fluffy, White Stuff

You know what sucks? When you can see the snow capped mountains from your front yard, but yet you have no snow on the ground. Yes it's cold, below freezing in the morning, but not being able to reach out and touch the cold, white stuff is depressing. Brings back allot of memories. Growing up in Michigan, you never, ever have a lack of the white stuff. Snow ball fights, snow forts, ice ball fights (yeah those were fun, ice balls to the face hurt like hell lol)and catching snow flakes on your tongue. Yes, I think this is the most depressed I have been in a while. Maybe we should take a trip up to the mountains to get our fill of old man winter!

Oh and I tried to take a pic of those beautiful mountains, but the damn smog rolled in and I couldn't get a decent shot! lol

Bitch and Moan

Sick...and...Tired.

That's about it. Just fed up. In a pissy mood and people keep fueling the fire. People suck!

A little Christmas cheer

As my friend and I were driving back from Bakersfield last night, we stopped by a Starbucks to get some caffeine. Before we had a chance to pay for our drinks, the lady asked us if she could ask us a question. She asked if we could name all of Santa's reindeer. Of course, I was put on the spot simply because I have the kiddos and my friend knew I would know. So because I am a dweeb, I immediately started singing the Burl Ives version of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer in my head. I recited all the reindeer, including Rudolph and won us a free drink!!! lol That's the first (and probably last) time I have ever received anything free from Starbucks. But it was nice to see some Christmas cheer so late at night and especially from a Starbucks employee.

And you know what put a big ol damper on that Christmas cheer? It was the fact that we drove 2 hours to a place that happens to have a Sonic and the damn place was closed when we got there. Can you believe that?? I was drooling for a cherry limeade by the time we got done with our engagement,and when we got there the place was closed up tighter then a virgin. Ahh well, we'll make another trip soon and this time I wont leave without my cherry limeade!!!

Past and Present

He was wearing the damn bucket then... at Halloween



And he is still wearing it now...at Christmas time


Why does he insist on wearing that stupid Weinersnitzel bucket everywhere? To the store, to the post office (which by the way was a VERY entertaining experience), and in the car. He refuses to take it off his head. Ahh well, at least it can be used as his helmet in case he falls or rams into a wall or something right?

Why is it so difficult?

Can anyone tell me why every year I have this big pain in my ass called the Christmas card family portrait?

Why is it so hard to get a family pic taken in front of the damn tree?

Why is it that every time I try to get it done the kids are screaming or running around like mad people?

Why is it after several attempts the pics are to dark or blurry?

Ugggh, I love to send out cards with at least a semi current pic in it, but this year if I don't hurry and get a decent pic it will just be a plain old card.

But I did get a couple of the kids in front of the tree. Of course I had to bribe the boys with candy cane Hershey kisses in order to sit still for two seconds and give me a decent smile! lol

Better then Sex!

Okay ladies, you all know that shopping is better then sex right? Hahahaha well, at least a close 2nd ahhh? lol

Yesterday a friend and I spent 9 hours shopping! It was FABULOUS! No kids. No husbands. No whining, crying, kicking, screaming or "Mama, I want THAAAAT's!" It's been years since I have been able to get out and shop without being accompanied by little people. Although, I did receive numerous phone calls throughout the day wondering where I was, when I would be home, and if I was going to be getting dinner for everyone. lol Uhhh no, I am getting dinner for me, me and only me! lol

We hit numerous stores and the mall too and did I come home with anything for me?? Yep. A chapstick. That's right. A gosh damn chapstick and a little cute ladybug notepad. Geesh. lol All the money was spent on the chillens that I moan and whine about on a daily basis. But Gosh I love those little terds. So even when they aren't with me, they still get my full attention!

But either way it was lots of fun and a whole day to myself.