Family Pictures

Just wanted to share our most recent family pictures!It cracked me up cause when the lady was trying to get Baby Boy to smile, he did his normal scrunch up his face smile. She kept re-taking the pics because she insisted he kept shutting his eyes. She finally called me over to look and I said, "Oh no, his eyes aren't shut, that's how he smiles!" lol She finally called another lady in, and insisted she try to take a picture with him having a "natural" smile. The photo of him on the end is the one she got. And, if you look real close, you will notice, his tongue is sticking out! lol

Hoopla

Lots and lots of hoopla going on. Things are much quieter around this joint, and Mama is a much happier person too!

Halloween went well. Kids had fun. Unfortunately, I didn't get any pics on Halloween. I know, I know, but with 3 kids and with 75% of the time spent whining, complaining, fighting or getting hurt in some way or another, you tend to rush things along and forget to take pictures. I did however, get pics the night before while carving pumpkins and for Crazy's preschool party.

I have already torn down the Halloween decorations and adorned the home with Thanksgiving/Autumn decor. I have come to realize that Fall in this shithole town/state is my favorite time of year. Back home in Michigan, Spring was always my favorite. Winter here is pretty darn cold, Spring it begins to heat up, and the bugs and creepy animals come out, and Summer is blasting hot and the bugs and creepy animals hang around. Then there's Fall. The bugs start dying or hibernating or whatever they do (either way there are less of them), the leaves start to fall (although they go straight from green to brown with no pretty oranges, red or yellows) and the temps are in the mid to high 60s and lows in the 40s. Perfect open the window and air your house out weather! Except for the wind. That can be a pain!

And for those of you who didn't know...my desktop computer took a crap on me a few weeks ago. I lost most everything I had. That was another reason why I hadn't been blogging. But now, I have me my new, beautiful, PINK laptop. She is my new best friend. And she's beeeutiful! Gotta love the pink!

I also meant to blog about how Girly and I went to see HSM 3 a couple weeks ago. Call me a nerd, geek, moron, child molester, or what have you, but Zac Effron is HOT! I do have to say though that he is of legal age ladies, so he's eligible to be on the hottie list. I have watched them all with Girly since they came out and I think they are some of the cutest movies. I embarrassed the crap out of Girly though! lol I made her take pictures of me next to the cardboard cutouts of the HSM gang in the theater. I tried to get her to pose too, but she just kept rolling her eyes and telling me I was a dork. Does this make me one of those embarrassing parents? lol It was fun though!

Now I leave you with some picture puke of the last few weeks! Completely jumbled and in no particular order, so Enjoy!



Baby Boy as a skeleton:

Crazy as Bumblebee Transformer:


Me and Hubs in our yearly pumpkin patch self portrait:


The kids carving their pumpkins and Girly with her vampire makeup and wig on:


The boys at the yearly Halloween parade here in Shithole:


The kids at the pumpkin patch:


This is me with the lovely Zac Effron. He loves me, he really loves me!


Me and Girly in the bathroom at the theater. Hey,this is what you have to do when your camera on your phone doesn't have a flash! lol


Last but not least...I leave you with the world's biggest Booger Bubble! Baby Boy has been plagued with nothing but snotty noses, coughs and runny eyes for the last month. This is the result. You can tell by the look on his face that he was not very happy. He actually freaked out and started to cry! lol

Celebrate

Tomorrow I am a free woman...lol Company is moving out and things will hopefully be a bit more comfortable around here. I have contemplated having several strong drinks and stripper dancing on our kitchen table, but I believe a quiet evening with the kids in bed, a glass of something light, and hitting the sack early will have to do.

Allot has been going on around here, but I am to lazy right now to try and recap it all. If it's not Halloween preps (school parties, trick-or-treating all that jazz), or the FIL, it is something to do with cleaning, dusting, vacuuming and all that happy horse shit. I am also trying to start Christmas shopping. I love AND hate this time of year all at once.

Once I recoup, and get my mind out of shambles I will write more!

See ya Peeps!

Oh and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Hanging By a Thread

My patience that is.

To fill everyone in, my FIL is here. Living with us at the moment. He has been for the last month.

Now does everyone know where the yeast infection post came into play? lol

I am not going to go into a big bash fest (since Hubs reads this, although he knows I am not one to keep my mouth closed) but I will state for the record that I have mostly been a good girl and only flown off the handle a couple times.

I am though....very excited to see those boots go a walkin!

Just Pull the Trigger....

Just a quicky post....

Things around here are crazy. Just ask anyone who knows me personally and who I talk to on the phone at least once a day. lol

And just let me give you all a small piece of information... You'll love this....believe me.....

Stress can cause yeast infections.

Great isn't it?

That's what I thought!

I'll be back, don't worry.

Who doesn't love free stuff!

Check out this website for a chance to win a free handbag!
http://www.handbagplanet.com/contest2.php

Curious Baby Boy

Taking Crazy to school now has become a short play time for Baby Boy. We get there a few minutes early which gives Baby Boy time to run around and play with all of Crazy's classmates.

As we were sitting on the wall, waiting for the teacher to open the doors, Baby Boy takes a liking to a little, black boy. This little boy is always brought to school by his Grandma, but today both his Grandma and Grandpa were there with him. The Grandpa was sitting on the opposite side, across from us with his back to us and Grandma was standing next to me. Baby Boy excitedly runs around with the boy and Crazy. He then realizes he has not shown the little boy his shirt. His Curious George monkey shirt.

If anyone knows Baby Boy, his speech stinks. He refuses to talk, but will sign and make noises to no end.

He grunts at the boy, grabs his shirt, points at Curious George and starts to jump up and down, making monkey noises.

Both boys start to jump around, scratch themselves, and "ooohhh ooohhh ahhh ahhh" all over.

I knew immediately this may not be taken as a good thing.

The Grandpa, who by the way wasn't watching, just listening, turns, grabs his grandson's hand and says "You aint no monkey! Who callin you a monkey?"

The little boy was kind of confused. I could see it in his face. Like "what the hell you talking about?"

The Grandma then steps in and says "No, no Edward (whatever his name was), the little boy has a monkey on his shirt! Curious George is on his shirt and he was showing him!"

"Oh Oh, OK, then, but son, you ain't no monkey!"

Then the boys went about jumping and scratching themselves till school opened up.

I wanted to laugh, because Baby Boy was having so much fun being a monkey and showing off his shirt, but I had to hold myself back from correcting the gentleman myself. Luckily his wife did before I had the chance. I knew right away that as soon as Baby Boy started with this monkey kick, it was going to get someone in trouble. lol

11 Yrs. Old

You aren't so little anymore are you?

You aren't that blond, quiet, chicken head baby, but a high spirited, sassy, smart, to much grown up young lady.

You love the color purple, and painting your nails.

You love your brothers, but also love to pick on them and boss them around.

But, you still love to kiss and hug us all every chance you get.

You love your Grammies, Papas, Aunties, Uncles, Cousins, and Friends to death and tell them every chance you get.

You love to pretend. Playing house, fashion show, and setting up lemonade stands.

You have outgrown dressing up and putting makeup on your Barbies, now you put makeup on you and your friends instead.

You already want to dye your hair, and get piercings.

But despite all the growing up you have done, and the changes that you are going through, you are still a sweet, loving, caring girl. You are our Girly Girl. A gift that we wouldn't trade for anything.

Happy Birthday Baby!

Repeat After Me

"Be quiet!"

"Not now!"

"Say you're sorry!"

"Stop!"

"Well then use the bathroom for crying out loud!"

"Put away your shoes!"

"Whose socks are these?"

"Quit hitting the dog!"

"You're hungry all the time."

"You're not going to die of thirst."

"I think you'll survive."

"What the hell?"

"Don't spit!"

"Damn, motherf*cken dog, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!' (usually said to the new dog who has taken a liking to digging in my newly seeded yard that has finally started to look like a beautiful green yard. Now it looks like a burial ground.)

"Do I look like a maid?"

"No, I am not your maid!"

"Somebody let the dogs out please."

"Somebody let the dogs in please." (I swear everyone is deaf but me. Do they not hear the dogs barking non-stop for 30 mins?)

"Doesn't anyone but me notice that the ice maker needs to be filled with water?" (I swear everyone does notice, but when they walk by and see the light on, they just figure if they leave it long enough, I'll do it. And I do. Jerks! lol)

"Take care of your clothes!"

"Pick up these toys before the dogs chews them up!"

"Well...I told you to pick them up, it's not my fault Sokka got ahold of them!"

"I can't fix that honey, it's trash now!"

"No more cheese!"

"Don't feed the dogs!"

"Get out of the kitchen!"

Holy cow, I need a major vacation. Luckily tonight, at 5:45, I get a whole hour and a half to myself to get my nails done. Not allot, but it's been way over due, and I love to sit there and let her work on my hands! lol Do you think if I brought a tub, some Calgon and a bottle of wine that she would still work on me?

My Little Boy is Becoming a Man...

Well not quite a man yet, but today Crazy had his 1st day of preschool. He absolutely LOVED it. He woke up with Sissy by 6 am this morning, and by the time I got out of the shower at 10 after he was dressed, had his shoes on, had his backpack on and had his lunch box ready to go. Sissy (Girly) had made his lunch up for him. What a great big sister. All morning long all I heard was "Are we going to school yet?", "Do I get to ride the bus with Sissy?", "When do I get to ride the bus?", "Maaaammmmaaaaa, we're gonna miss all the kids!", "Momma, why can't we go now?" and so on. Crazy doesn't start school till 12:30 and goes till 3:30, so you can imagine that the time probably seemed like an eternity from 6 to 11:30 when we left the house. lol. Poor kid. lol. But we met Daddy up at the school, so we could both see him off on his first day. It took but 2 seconds for us to become invisible to him. We had to make him get off the bouncy house just to give us kisses goodbye. Miss Loretta, his teacher, seems like a wonderful lady, and I just know he will have so much fun this year in school. I think the worst part of the experience was my poor Baby Boy. He took it real hard. He cried and cried when we left the school. He finally stopped when we got lunch, only to start back up when we drove home. He kept saying "Bubba oool" which translates to Bubba school. He calls Crazy, Bubba. I felt terrible for him. First Sissy ups and leaves him in the mornings, which he hates, now Bubba is leaving him in the afternoons. Poor guy. But my 2nd baby is now officially growing up. I am already nervous about Kindergarten and how he is going to transition from 3 hrs. a day to all day long school. I guess I shouldn't cross that bridge till I come to it ahhh?

But here are some pics of Crazy on his first day of school.




And here is poor Baby Boy missing his brother...

Worried For Nothing

As usual, when the Mommy worry takes over, it's always worse then it seems. Girly came home yesterday with a smile on her face, and nothing bad to say except "Look at all this homework I have!" She made friends with a couple girls, said she liked all her teachers, the playground equipment was cool, and she saw 3 girls with dyed hair and facial piercings! lol She mentioned that only because when we were looking through the handbook, it said no dyed hair or facial piercings allowed! lol My day long anxiety was put to rest. Today was soooo much better. She jumped out of the truck without any worries, reminded me it was an early out day, and ran up to the school! She is even going to check in with the bus drivers to see which route she is suppose to take so she can start riding the bus.

What a big girl she is getting to be. We even had to have the dreaded Aunt Flo talk because I believe she will be visited here pretty soon (the signs are all there, especially the moodiness! lol). We went over the do's and dont's of disposal (never, ever flush it or you will be royally embarrassed when the toilet in the girls room overflows and you need to call for help), lol, and all that good stuff! She is even carrying backup, in her backpack, should the need arise. I had to answer all those just delightful questions about when, where and how Aunt Flo operates. I had to refrain from bluntly telling her Aunt Flo is a big ol bitch, and you have to live with her shit for the majority of your life. But I held back on that portion. The girl hasn't even started for crying out loud, why scare the crap out of her to soon, ya know? I am just waiting for the sobbing call that I need to get her and bring her home so she can change. Ahhh, gotta love being a girl.

As Hubs likes to say "Somethings gotta be seriously wrong when a person can bleed for a week straight, and they don't die!" I just like to say, it goes to show how strong we are...and patient, and resilient, and it's probably God's way of punishing men because they don't get any during that week! lol

I think I just threw up in my mouth...

Today is Girly's 1st day of 6th grade. At a new school. I was revisited by the same sleepless night I had when she started Kindergarten. I felt nauseous. I still do. I didn't want to leave her there. Every time she said she felt like she was going to throw up, I felt like I was going to throw up. Watching her eyes dart around at all the new kids, with this "what the hell is going to happen?" look made me want to hug her tighter and tell her "ok, lets just go back to your old school." I feel like the worst parent for sending her off to a new school. Making her make new friends. Making her go through that dreaded 1st day of school at a brand new school, with all new people, all new teachers. But she's a good girl. I think...or I KNOW she will make friends very easily. It's just going to take some time. I am anticipating 3:00 when I have to go and pick her up. I want her day to go smoothly and I want her to say, "You know what Momma, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was pretty fun!" or "Momma, I made some new friends today, and they are really nice!" Something...anything that will reassure me that I haven't scarred my kid for life by taking her away from her old school.

If I am like this with school days...I am going to be a total mess when she starts dating and gets married! God help me! lol

Here's my Girly Girl on her 1st day back at school!



Also during this past long weekend, Girly taught Crazy his ABC's. We are getting him ready for preschool, so Girly played teacher. She was amazing at teaching him. Within 3 days he had his ABCs down packed. Now she just has to teach him everything else, and then I wont have to pay for school! lol He is doing amazing and loves to sing them to us every chance he gets!

Oh and for those of you who are STILL wondering...we got our new cooler installed last week. We are now basking in the wonderful feel of cool air throughout the house. And we are also basking in the fact that the boys are now sleeping comfortably in their beds at night instead of on the living room floor!

Early Halloween

Remember the pumpkins Crazy had planted. Yah well, they are a bit early for Halloween. So we picked. And we carved.

The Heat is On...

Ok, here's the scoop..since I know you are all dying to know about my shitty cooler situation. The warranty place finally called us back after we got our 2nd opinion. They wanted to send out a 3rd opinion to mediate between the 1st and 2nd opinion. The 1st opinion stated lack of maintenance. The 2nd opinion stated no lack of maintenance, simply failure of system due to wear and tear. 3rd opinion never showed up because the 3rd opinion was going to be the same contractor as the 1st opinion. Dumb asses. So instead of sending a 3rd opinion, we opted to cash out on the deal,
and the warranty is sending us a check to do the whole damn things ourselves. Assholes. Sooooo....lol....we have to wait 10-14 days to receive the check, then we will have the money to start getting it fixed. So it's been a good 3 weeks we have been without air conditioning, and by the time we are done it'll be 5 weeks, and by then, we wont need the gosh damn thing! Well, this year anyways.

And if that story didn't screw with your mind enough, remember how we got all new windows and doors? Well....chew on this...some of the molding is coming off from around the windows.

I call the 800# on the contract.

Sorry the # you are trying to reach has been disconnected.

I try the 4 numbers on the business card.

Sorry the # you are trying to reach has been disconnected.

You sonsabitches.

So I do some research on the internet.

Call 2 more numbers. Including said owners home phone.

Sorry the # you are trying to reach has been disconnected.

Why do I suddenly feel like we are screwed here.

So finally I get a hold of someone at the City of H*******.

"Sorry mam, you should probably call the Chamber of Commerce."

So I called C of C.

Can't get through.

Email them.

Get response that says you should try the BBB.

Send email to BBB.

Response states that business name has been changed and here's a phone number.
So I call it.

It's an answering service that states they are the same business, just under a different name. They promised they would page said owner with my name and number.

No response yet.

So today, I get a response email from the City of H.

The business you are trying to reach has expired their building license, but here is their current number.

So I try that #.

Sorry the # you are trying to reach has been disconnected.

Assholes.

So I call the answering service # back again.
Same lady, same msg. Promises to send a page and he will call me.

No luck. No call.

But...I'm still smiling. Well, on the inside. Sometimes. Once in a while. Ahh shit, not really. But, I'm optimistic.

If the mini swamp cooler that runs 24/7 to keep us cool should tip over and go through one of our brand new windows that the molding is coming off of, then maybe we can sue both companies and get a shitload of money.

Doubtful.

MIA

No fixed cooler yet.

Those contractors are assholes. They told the warranty place that our cooler lacked maintenance and that is why it broke down. We told them they are full of shit. Got 2nd opinion, they told us that our cooler looks great for being out in the desert, and that is not even close to the reason why the cooler broke. Faxed copy to warranty. Warranty is now sending out a 3rd mother-fn opinion. Looks like we may not have air for yet another 2 weeks.

I'm whipped. I don't know if it's the heat, or what. I feel drained all the time, and am usually a crabby bitch. No, I'm not pregnant, so that idea can just be thrown out the window..thank you very much! lol I think I need to start working out again, and eat better. I am researching herbs to take too, to increase mood, and energy. Any suggestions?


Girly got her new school clothes this past weekend. It's amazing how much money you can drop in a single weekend when shopping for kids. But, she will be transferring schools this year, so we want her to start fresh, and feel confident. She seems to be dealing with it well. She's like her Dad, she can approach anyone, and she makes friends easily. I believe I am more worried then she is. I didn't do well in school when it came to friends and fitting in. Her Dad, well....Mr. Popular he was. lol I believe she will be fine. She's a great kid. She's kind, and fun, and a very compassionate person. She loves to do things for people (most of the time, sometimes her brother's get the raw end of the deal! lol) and she is one of those kids that just seems to attract friends. I feel like it is the first day of Kindergarten all over again!

Update via Bullets

• Baby Boy experienced the beach for the first time last week. We finally got off our butts and drove to a small lake about 30 minutes away. He had a blast, as did Crazy and Girly.

• Crazy isn't doing so hot in the no pottying at night thing. I am resorting to plastic pants because I don't think his sheets are going to last much longer if I keep washing them everyday. Plus....I am soooo sick of doing laundry!

• Baby Boy is doing great with pottying. He goes all day long in the potty, except for naps and nighttime.

• Our swamp cooler died on us on Sunday. We have gone 4 days without any air in the house. It is miserable. We bought a couple more fans, and have the small, portable swamp cooler running into the main living room. That helps a bit. The kids have been napping and sleeping at night in there. It's to unbearable in the back of the house. The temp outside now is 105, inside....92. The damn swamp cooler guy is suppose to be here today between 1 and 5. It is now 4:30. Don't ya love it when they can give you that set time so you don't waste your day away waiting for them to get their asses to your house? I sure do. They best hurry up and fix my damn cooler. Sweaty, hot, tired kids make for a very mean, cranky momma.

• Thanks to Daddy, the boys got themselves some new haircuts. Buzzed it clean off. Easier to keep clean, and cooler too!
  

• Oh, and who needs a real slip n slide when you can make your own ghetto slip n slide out of water, a concrete patio floor, and 3 nakey behinds?

• Ghetto Slip N Slide Recipe:

1. 1 water hose
2. 1 concrete surface
3. Participants who are willing to strip their clothes off and run naked while slipping and falling all over wet
cement.

Take hose and thoroughly wet down concrete surface. Check concrete for slickness. When you are able slide on the surface like you are ice skating, the surface is ready. Leave hose on patio to keep a large amount of water on top of concrete floor. Have willing participants take off their clothes, sit on their behinds and push off the walls, or any solid surface. This makes for hours of fun and laughs.

Warning: Cracks and debri on concrete can make for soar, red butts!

I Felt It...I Really Felt It

I experienced my first earthquake today. We have lived her just over 3 yrs. and although there have been a couple, I have never felt them before today.

I was standing in the kitchen, making the kids some mac and cheese. I was at the sink, looking out the window at Girly, who was out digging up something or other and the floor, literally, started to sway. My first reaction was that I was having a dizzy spell. You know, where you feel faint and it feels like your body starts to sway? But as the swaying continued, I realized that this was an earthquake. I just kind of stood there with my hands braced on the sink, waiting to see what the hell was happening. I glanced at my clock on the cupboard at it said 11:45 am. When I saw the blinds on the kitchen window start to sway....that's when I knew it wasn't me going nuts. I looked out at Girly to make sure she was ok, and she didn't seem to be bothered in the least. Crazy was playing video games and ran into the kitchen proclaiming that Girly's tv was moving and her closet was shaking. Baby Boy didn't budge from his seat on the couch. To busy watching Wow Wow Wubzy I guess. lol.

It was absolutely nuts. Nothing like you see in the movies where the glass is rattling, or the books are falling off the shelves or anything like that. This literally felt like I was on a boat, where the waves are rocking you up and down and back and forth. It did that at least 3 or 4 times.

I called Hubs and he says, "Pretty cool huh?"

Uh hell no it wasn't cool. That was scary as shit! lol

Proud Mama

OK, I have to take this moment to brag about my munchkins.

As you all know the 2 boys are in the process of potty training. Well Crazy has been potty trained for a while, but is just now starting to finally have accident free nights.

Baby Boy is just starting his potty training, and I have boycotted diapers during the day.

They are both doing wonderfully.

Crazy has only had 2 accidents in the last week and 1/2 that he's been pull up free. He's been restricted of drinks after 6pm, and we have been getting him up to pee between 1 and 3 in the mornings. He's so proud of himself, and it's great to see him get up and brag that his Shrek undies are dry!

Baby Boy is catching on super fast. He pees more then any kid I know, but is doing it consistently in the potty. He's pooped twice in the pot, and twice in, shall we we say, non-potty zones (i.e his highchair and the hallway floor). He still is peeing outside, but now it's only when we are out there in the pools or they are playing. I tried big boy undies today, but he still thinks he's covered, so he pees in them. I guess he'll stay naked for a while longer till he starts to understand the pulling down of the pants thing. And by naked I mean completely. He doesn't want shirts or anything on! lol He likes to feel free I suppose!

I know all of you are just dying to know how the date with "hell boy" went. Lets just say that kid is insane. By insane I mean, psycho, crazy, wildly angry insane. When this kid gets pissed, he gets pissed. He wouldn't quit splashing Girly in the pool. So she decided if he wasn't going to leave her alone, despite her asking nice and telling him to quit, she was gonna get out the hose. I told her to go for it. If he was going to keep egging her on, well she needed to do what she needed to do. So every time she got splashed (and I don't mean just a harmless splash, like accidental or whatever, this kid was intentionally egging her on) she would spray him full blast with the hose. Finally, after numerous times in the face, and me telling him, if you would just quit egging her on, she'd quit with the hose, he just went nuts. Before I could stop him, he had picked up our metal watering can and chucked it at her. Hitting her square in the shin. That just proceeded to piss her off and she hosed him right in the eyes. He then went for the play shovels, shoes and anything he could get his hands on to hit her with. This is when I (and Lue Lue) had to intervene. He was angry. Seeing nothing but red. Lue Lue actually hid Girly behind her and was trying to reason with this child. No amount of yelling, holding him, or anything calmed this kid down. He doesn't listen, sasses, and is just down right mean. He shows no empathy for his actions. He is one of those kids, that even at his calmest moments, you cannot get him to look you in the eye. He is insane I tell ya. Actually, he probably isn't. He's literally got something wrong with him. And his parents enable him. This kid is 8 yrs. old and can't put on his own shoes. His mom dresses and undresses him. She buckles him into his seat in the car. She caters to his every whim. It's sad. Anyways, when they came to get him, she asked how he'd been. I wanted to be blunt, but I didn't want to offend her. I know how parents are. I know how defensive you can get when someone tells you something you don't want to hear about your kids. So I tried to put it in a way she would take as constructive. I told her that he was starting fights with Girly, so she hosed him down with the hose. He got angry, hit her with numerous objects, and was out of control. I told her he was so angry, it was like he he couldn't be calmed down. I told her we tried to set him down and explain to him that you don't act like that. Her response...."Was he shaking?" Huh? Uh yah, he was shaking. He was pissed. Her response. "Oh Ok".

That's it. That was it. That was her response to the whole situation. No, "Is Girly ok?" No, "Hell Boy, what the hell are you thinking?" No, "Hell Boy, you're gonna get your ass whooped when we get home." No, Hell Boy, you need to apologize to Girly." Nothing.

Unfreakinbelievable. That kid is the devil I tell you! Actually it's probably the parents creating this devil. Sometimes I wonder what happens around that house that I don't know about!

It's a Tinkle it's a Puddle it's a Wee Wee too

As stated in a previous post, Baby Boy is potty training. I should have known I would jinx myself when I wrote that.

The first 2 days was wonderful, 2 or 3 accidents all together. He even pooped in the pot.

But the LAST 2 days.....

I can't get him to pee inside.

You heard me right...inside.

He'll pee outside all day long. And as soon as he realizes he has to go, starts to dance around, and make the potty sign, he runs for the door. I have tried repeatedly to get him to go to the bathroom.

Me: Come on Sweetie? Gotta pee? Let's go. Let's use the potty.

Baby Boy: *Shakes head no and jumps up and down*

Me: Yeah Hon, come on. We can do the pee pee dance! Come on, it'll be fun. Mama will pee pee with you!

Baby Boy: Utuh, No. *Dances around like he is going to explode*

Me: OK fine, lets go.

At this point I drag him to the bathroom and place him on the pot.

Me: Come on now, you can pee pee in the potty.

Baby Boy sits for a moment. Looks around. Stands up.

Me: Did ya go?

Baby Boy: Uhhuh *smiles and runs from the room*

No tinkle.

No sooner we head out to play in the pools, he immediately runs into the yard, stands there and starts to pee. He yells for me to look, gets all excited and does the pee pee dance.

This has happened 3 times.

I suppose it's no big deal. And he is making the connection of the feeling of having to go and actually going. He knows when he has to go, he just doesn't want to go in the toilet. He wants to go outside.

I just don't want to be the person who is having a get together, my kid has to pee, and he sits and waits by the door with the dogs to be let out!

I should just get him a doggy door!

Any advice?

Oh and I wont mention that Crazy has been dry the last 3 nights with no accidents cause I might jinx that too!

Shook me all Night Long

The last couple days I had been thinking about how long I have been blogging and how I wish I would have saved my prior blog and printed it out.

I know I started back in 2004. Right after Crazy Boy was born.

It would be so neat to go and see those posts. His milestones. What he was doing. What Girly was doing, and about our getting out of the Marine Corps and the move back to the mainland.

But for the life of me, I couldn't remember what my blog addy was.

At 3:00 am it hit me and I remembered it. And I couldn't go back to sleep. I had to get on the computer and try to find some of my archives.

No luck. I was on here till 4:30 this morning.

But then I went into the archives of this current blog. Back to 2006. Wow, it's nuts. How Baby Boy was just a few months old, Crazy was being potty trained, and we were adjusting to living in Cali.

Now it's Baby Boy being potty trained. We bought our house out here. Girly is in Middle School. And many other milestones.

I need to print out my archives. Needless to say, with my raw sense of humor and bad, bad, BAD potty mouth, I will not be passing this down to Girly for a few years! lol

I mean...look at them? lol

It's so crazy how time flies.

Living on a Prayer

Come Thursday I will need...

Prayers.

Good wishes.

Good thoughts.

Voodoo.

Curses.

Good Karma.

Anything that will save my ass from Hell Boy

Remember him?

Sleepover with "Hell Boy" did not go well a couple weeks ago. I mean it was BAAAAADDDD.

I was stupid. I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to give Crazy someone to play with.

Now, after numerous promises to myself that I would give it another year before I had that kid here, I was asked to babysit. More like devilsit. Whatever. Same thing.

Comin Back for More

Wow, Mother Nature must have really liked what she got from me last weekend, cause she came back for more yesterday. It rained for at least 30 minutes, but it was thundering and gloomy ALL afternoon. The humidity sucked a big one, my house smelled like wet dogs or fish most of the day, but that was ok, we sat outside most of the time. Opened up the windows, and let the breeze blow through. And it was only around 98.

Today we are back to above 100 degree temps and the humidity is slowly creeping down. I think the dozen or so candles I lit yesterday helped with the smell in my house. lol

I tried, once again to take some pictures of how the kids are keeping themselves occupied. The stupid camera's battery must be shot. I had it charging all the other day. Took it off the charger to take some pics, left it off the charger over night, and then when I went to get it to take some, it was already dead. What a crock. But today I will get some.

Oh, off the subject.

Baby Boy took his first dump in the potty!! How is that for fantastic?

I have boycotted diapers, like I did with Crazy, and he is doing wonderful. Only 1 peepee accident, and no poops. He is soooo much easier then Crazy was. He will go in on his own, go potty, then come out and get me to show me. Then we do the peepee dance, clean him up, and get a peepee treat.

I know, call me crazy, but I think the kid deserves a small treat for making my life easier!!

Random BS

Do you see that? That's right, that's Mother Nature's smile after she got down and dirty with me this weekend like I promised her she could.

It rained, for all of about 10 minutes total this weekend. It was gloomy, and dark and oh so delightful though most of the weekend. I LOVED it!

I would have taken some snaps of the kids going bananas in a puddle of water, but the stupid camera went dead. See, I have this thing about not charging my camera. I suck..this I know.

On another, totally different subject.

Old people should not drive.

If you are over the age of 70, only 4 foot tall, and need glasses the size of your head to see, I highly recommend getting someone to chauffeur you around. Driving around on the highway at 45 miles per hour, shuffling in and out of my lane, while my big ass Expedition is coming up on your ass is going to get you killed. You probably saw allot of things coming from my Hubs that your 80 yr. old ass has never seen before. That alone, may stop your heart.

Stay off the F*cken roads.

Another subject.

Why is it that we have had such rotten luck with eating out lately.

Is it hard to get a little bowl of salsa from the kitchen?

Ranch?

Drinks?

Maybe I'm asking to much.

Maybe walking back to the kitchen, yelling for kitchen staff to grab you a bowl of salsa, or ranch, taking it from their hands, and walking it to a table of customers is just to much.

1 time. Fine, I can ask again.

2 times. Ok buddy, I've asked once, now can you Pllllease get me the bowl of salsa I asked for twice and 10 minutes ago?

3 times. Ok asshole, I know you didn't forget that bowl of salsa a 3rd time. And then you have the nerve to come and ask how everything is going? Get me my f*cken salsa and ranch gosh dammit!!

Minus the spit or urine please????

Summertime Blues

To hot to send them outdoors.

Going crazy with them indoors.

Any suggestions.

And if you mention the local pool....holy crap, then you've never been to a local pool, in the middle of summer, in a desert town.

Packed. To packed to have any fun.

I'm Only Happy When It Rains

Holy Crap, I'm just trying to stay cool. 110+ all this week. By Friday they are saying possible thunderstorms. Did you hear that? Thunderstorms. Do you know how long its been since we've seen rain? Almost a year. But I'm not holding my breath. If it does rain, that means humidity. Humidity = no working swamp cooler. No working swamp cooler = No cool air inside the house. Ick! But...If it rains, I will still run outside, bend over, and let Mother Nature have her way with me! Does that make me a lesbian?? hmmmm

Anyways. I figured I'd get a small post in while the kids are keeping themselves busy with crayons and markers and drawing all over my table.


And look at our pumpkins. We've never grown anything. I have this black thumb you see, but Crazy, he wanted some seeds. So a couple months ago we got him some pumpkin seeds and cucumber seeds. Hell, they were on clearance for 10 cents. He planted them, and look! He is so proud of them. We have been watering them like crazy, just to make sure they stay alive in this heat. He's going to be my little farmer!



But look at my flowers. I wanted some hanging plants to spruce up the back patio. I got these from Home Deathpot.

Me: "Mam, could you help me. I'm not good with plants. In fact, I kill most everything I touch. Could you help me choose a nice plant that will take the heat and sun, and all I have to do is water it and it will stay alive."

*Home Deathpot lady laughs*

"Well mam, these here are lovely flowers. I'm not sure exactly what kind they are....maybe Impatients..You don't need to trim them, you don't have to transplant them. You just need to make sure they are in partial shade and you should water them 1 to 2 times daily. They suck allot of water, so make sure they stay moist! But other then that, they are pretty hearty plants."

Me: "So are these the kind that will come back year after year, or will they just die and I have to replace them?"

"They are perennials. They will look dead in the winter, but will pop back up next spring if you start to water them again!"

"Oh good. Well those sound like my kind of plants. No transplanting. No trimming. Water twice a day. And they may look dead, but they really aren't. I'll take 2!"

Look at them now...


Dead
Dead
Dead

Actually they may not be dead. There are still buds all over it. But the damn things have never bloomed. And I water them 2 times a day. The leaves have fallen off, and the stupid things are not sprucing back up.

I've killed it.
Maybe I should have let Crazy take care of them????

Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog

My children are obsessed with the computer.

First it was Girly.

Now it is Crazy. He loves to play Noggin online. The saddest part. Girly is teaching him how to use the computer. How to turn it on. How to get to his website. All that. I just have to make sure he doesn't accidentally put in a wrong addy, that would not be good.

My 4 yr. old would end up like KimmyK's boy and his friends, and my computer would probably be in the same predicament! lol (j/k KK!)

I have found myself addicted to the show "Army Wives". I have never watched it before. But I have started watching it at the beginning of this new season. I wish I had watched the first season. It's okay though, I am slowly catching myself up on who's who and what's what. But I still find myself comparing them to Marines and wondering why the hell they do this or that, and why can't their uniforms be better looking!! lol I know that sounds stupid, but I spent 8 yrs. surrounded by these men (and women...sorry) and I still have yet to see a better looking branch's uniforms! My gosh ladies......if you've seen a man in his blues.....holy crap....hubba, hubba

But aside from that...lol....it is a good show. Some of the story lines really hit close to home.

Summer vacation? Is it over yet?

Issue from previous post that got deleted. Not settled.

OK. That's all I have to say about that!

Happy 4th of July

Warning:

Allot of foul language in this song...but I thoroughly enjoy it! lol

Happy Independence Day!

All Summer Long

Got that damn song stuck in my head. You know, the new one by Kid Rock. Ugh! lol I crack up when I listen to it though because some of the things he says only a Michigan girl would know what the hell he's talking about!

This weekend was Hub's birthday. So because I didn't post this weekend...

Happy Birthday Hon!

Saturday we had a BBQ and bonfire. Sunday we took a drive down to the Hollywood area. It was crowded and we didn't know where the hell to go so we just kept on going! Plus, with our luck, we woulda ended up in the ghetto somewhere. But we did see the Whiskey a go go bar where the Doors played and the Beverly Hills sign that you would see on the Beverly Hills 90210 beginning if you were lame like me and watched reruns on SoapNet. lol We drove along the coast for a good hour smelling the ocean air and enjoying their 75 degree weather! It was beautiful and green, and made me miss living by the ocean! Or at least some body of water! lol

Terminix man did his duty yesterday. Sprayed the shit outta the house. I told him to put a nice coat of poison back by the back door where Hubs and I have been watching the black widows and wolf spiders play. Hubs killed one the other night, but I just know there are more hiding. Bastards. I asked the Terminix guy if he does anything for snakes...he said "Yah, run!" lol What a dumbass! But no, they don't have anything for them varmints.

I think I will make a trip into town today to get our mail. With Girly being out of school I am saving a shitton in gas by not having to drive everyday. But if I don't check the PO Box, it will overflow then they will charge me because I get to much mail!

Oh and did anybody hear about the 4 day work week that they started in Utah? That's nuts! It may save some money on gas and such, but some people wont be able to survive on a 4 day work week salary. I don't know if we could.

I'm Bummed

Today is just one of those blah days.

The kids wont sleep.

It's hotter then fricken balls outside.

My baby Pookey is sick. She had an accident on the bedroom floor last night (which was disgustingly nasty, and not in the least a solid accident)and has been sick today. She's moping. I gave her rice for breakfast this morning, hoping to bind her up. I checked her rear and found it to be swollen and bloody. I am assuming it is the diarrhea that is doing it. I am hoping and praying it's just the doggy flu. The last time she did this, it was when I changed their dog food. No change though, no out of the ordinary foods. Except a couple raw hide sticks. Maybe those are affecting her insides?? I don't know. I'm a worried momma. Every time I see her hurt, moping or sick I get scared. She needs to see the vet. I mean, she saw the vet a couple weeks ago, got all her shots updated and stuff. But they want to do a complete blood workup on her. Because of her age. She's 11 and they want to make sure her indoor plumbing is working properly. But it costs SO DAMN MUCH! I guess I will give her a couple days to recoup, check her poo daily and see how things go.

I'm bored.

Gosh, I sound like Girly. That's all I hear now. All day long. Schools out, I'm bored. I don't have anything to do. Can we go here? Can we go there? Can I have some money?

Holy Crap. I am going to be one of those mom's that requests the school year to be year round! Seriously.

Dream Weaver

I was in a petshop, and was told as part of my "mission" I must chose a snake and let it bite me. Not some little snake, no, it must be a large enough snake to leave nice little puncture wounds on my arm.

"Why do I have to do this?" I ask

"Because it's what has to be done!" the man says. "That one right there, he looks like a good one!"

"Well what about that one?" I ask, pointing to the little, green, 1/2 inch round one in the aquarium. Looked like a Gardner snake.

"No", he says. "It has to be able to do this. He grabs this big, white, at least 2 inch round snake, and pushes back on its mouth. Orange looking goop comes flying out of its teeth.

"Please don't make me do it!"

"Oh come on." He says

I finally grabbed the snake and watched in slow motion as it whipped it's head around, and sunk it's nasty fangs into my arm.

I screamed.

I cried.

I yelled for people to help me.

No one did.

I sunk down to the ground, all the while having this snake latched onto my arm.

In an effort to get this thing off of me, I stomped down on its body with my foot.

I was pissed.

I stomped and stomped until it released my arm.

It fell to the ground, flicking it's tongue and swishing its tail about.

I grabbed the knife from my pocket.

And chopped the bastards head off.

Then I neatly placed the head into the aquarium.

"There, I did it."

"Uhhh, you are going to have to pay for that snake mam!" the man says.

I looked up and heard..

"Mama,can I watch cartoons?"

I hate dreams.

I hate snakes.

They are not only invading my house, but now they must invade my mind.

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!

Gone Private. Took me long enough didn't it? lol I hope you all are able to get on here, as I love to hear from everyone.

This weekend was hot. Not just hot, let me rephrase that.... F'n Hot!

And we did all sorts of crap around the house, sweated our butts off, and then realized we should have been inside the air conditioned house the whole time! lol That's ok, we now have a lovely yard light up that helps us to see the Pups when they are out and about at night.

I also got one hell of a deal at Home Deathpot. I mean Home Depot. When we went in and got some yard supplies on Saturday, I picked up your standard American Flag kit. Metal pole, eagle, flag and mounting stuff. Got to the register and it rang up for 1 penny. That's right. 1 red cent. I figured, hell, I'm not gonna dispute that! So off we went home and I hung my 1 cent American flag. So then yesterday, Girly and I made another trip to the death center, and I thought that I'd take a gander at grabbing some more flags. If they rang up for a penny, good, if not, I'd just put them back. So I grabbed the 5 they had left and went to the register. Yup folks, they all rang up for 1 penny. So I got 5 American flag kits for a nickel! How's that for American pride??? lol

I'm feeling allot better now. My nose and stomach are back to their normal selves. I am completely avoiding tomatoes at this point though. I don't care if they show them to me under a stinkin black light. I'm still not going to touch them. And yes, next season, we will be planting our own tomato plants! lol

Scared the Sickness Right Outta Me!

I do believe this guy scared the living sickness right outta me!

I go out just a bit ago to talk to Hubs, and this is what Crazy found behind their tote of toys on the porch!

I feel totally guilty only because the boys were bothering me while I was on the phone and I told them to go find some toys to play with while I was chatting.

Luckily I was told he is just a gopher snake.

Bastard.

Feeling Better

Day 5.

Feeling 80% better.

Not so nauseous.

No puking (from mouth or rear)

No more headaches.

But I am still finding that my sense of smell is still at it's heightened alert mode and I could smell a pile of shit a mile away!

Everything stinks to me. Especially food. And the dogs. And my house. And sometimes....my husband! lol

But...I am better. That's good. The meds must be working. At least the antibiotic. The nausea pill didn't work for crap. And after that first day, I didn't need the cramping pill.

Onto other news....

Ahh crap, I don't have any other news at the moment. You'll just have to stay tuned in!

Killing Me

If anyone out there has a sympathetic bone in their body, they will do me the favor of putting me out of my misery.

I still feel like crap.

My stomach is in knots.

My head hurts.

I am hungry as hell, but when I start to put the food in my mouth it tastes nasty.

What the suckiest part of all this is....

This is what I feel like when I have morning sickness.

AND I'M NOT EVEN PREGNANT!

What the hell??

The Price Is WRONG...B*tch

Me: "I believe I will choose #3 Bob!" (From previous post)

Bob: "And behind Door #3 is.....ovulation!!!"

Wa, wa, waaaaaaaaaaa

Bob: "I'm sorry Mrs. Choppzs, that's not the right door. Now, you have 1 more door to choose. What's it gonna be?"

Me: "Well Bob, I guess I will go with choice #2!"

Bob: "#2, are you sure?"

Me: "Positive"

Bob: " Ok then Choppzs, lets see what you've won?"

The curtain is pulled, and the prize slowly appears

Bob: "Choppzs, you have won a brand, new, shiny.....

CASE OF FOOD POISONING!!"

Me: *covers eyes and weeps*
"Me? I don't deserve this..."
*covers eyes once again*
*sways a little to the side*
*hunches over*
*barfs all over stage*


That's right everyone. I have food poisoning. Salmonella. Or whatever the hell you wanna call it. I went to the doc yesterday. Still feeling like crap. He said more then likely that's what it is, and he prescribed me meds to help me feel better. Even today (Sunday) I am still feeling pretty ick.

My advice:

DON'T EAT ANY TOMATOES!

*I also did take a pg test. Big Fat Negative, thank you very much!

Feeling like Shit

It could be any number of things...

1.Flu

2.The tomatoes we ate the other night at BK (Oh gosh, I hope not!)

3.Ovulation

4.Pregnancy (Another, Oh gosh, I hope not! lol At least not yet, Baby Boy isn't potty trained!)

5.Friday the 13th is playing a cruel joke on me!

Holy Crap, all those things suck a big one. I believe I will choose # 3 Bob!

Since Baby Boy was born, my cycle has gone haywire. Symptoms that have never shown their dirty faces have now been my monthly friend, or monthly nuisance more like it. I am completely aware of when my little egg friends are dispensing themselves into fallopian oblivion. I am assuming today is that day. I guess I can add throwing up to my list of ovulation symptoms! lol

Mr. Mascara

Ok, I don't have a picture, I wish I did, but I don't.

My son, Baby Boy, has taken to stealing my makeup.

The first time it was my lipstick.

The second time it was my eyeshadow, and brushes.

The third time it was lipstick again.

Last night, it was my mascara.

The little terd sneaks out of his room after bedtime, goes into my room, into my bathroom and gets out my makeup.

Last night, I went back to turn down the air, and heard a noise from my room. Out walks baby boy with black, ALL over his face. It literally looked like he had 2 black eyes.

I stopped myself from bursting out laughing enough to tell him to go out to the living room to show his daddy what he had done.

I went to inspect his room, where I found my whole makeup case of brushes and eye liners in his bed, and the infamous tube of mascara that was open. There was mascara all over his comforter, so I went to get a rag to clean it all up.

In the meantime, Hubs was washing his face and had him cleaned up before I could get to the camera.

What will I do with him?

For one, I guess I need to make sure my bathroom door is locked after bedtime!

Call me Immature...

So I was picking Girly up from school on Friday and was in the turn lane getting ready to turn onto her school street.

There was a woman on the school street, at the stop sign, wanting to turn onto the street I was on.

I cautiously waited for traffic to clear so I could turn without having to gun it and all that jazz.

As I was going to turn, I had to stop because a car pulled out of a parking lot onto the street.

I looked over at the lady waiting to turn and just kind of shrugged my shoulders at her as if saying sorry, I was gonna go but now you'll have to wait.

She gave me the most disgusted look and threw up her hands as if saying "what the hell?".

So with me being me, I took my old sweet time waiting for more traffic and turning.

She was waving her hands around and I could tell she was in a hurry and cursing.

As I proceeded to finally turn and pass her she gave me the cuckoo sign. You know, where you take your finger and wave it in circles at the side of your head?

So I proceeded to stick my tongue out at her and make a face.

I would have given her the finger, but she had her kid with her in the front seat.

I just figured if she was going to be as childish as to do the cuckoo sign, I'd be just as immature and stick my tongue out!

The Dogs of War

This is the newest addition to the family. This is Sokka. He is Hub's new dog. He is a holy terror. A pain in my ass!

He may be cute, yes, but don't let those puppy eyes and wagging tail persuade you. He is a butthole. Pure shithead. He digs holes. He eats all the mulberries off the ground and poos humongous piles of mulberry shit everywhere. He jumps on the windows. He chews up shoes. He chews up ANYTHING that is within his reach. He chewed up 2 nuks and 1 sipper cup. And my biggest problem.....he fights with my Pookey. I don't mean just little scrapping, playing around fighting. I mean knock down drag out fights. And he's only around 8 months or so. We think.

My question to you all? How do you remedy this?


Pookey has been with us for 11 yrs. now. She's old. She's got arthritis and bad hips. And she's fat. Granted, she's very spry, and loves to run and fetch and play with the kids. She's my baby.

But now that Sokka is here and has chewed her a new asshole a few times, I am afraid she will get hurt. He is very domineering towards her, hovers over her and if she even attempts to walk by his bones he goes after her. Hubs says this is their way of establishing dominance. Which I fully understand. I have no problems with them finding their place in the home. But when she is as old as she is, and he mangles her, I wont have it. She's MY dominant dog. She's MY alpha dog. She's MY top dog.

I know you have to let things play out. This is their way of dealing with things. That's the dog way.

But she's my baby. I know she doesn't have many years left. I don't need him breaking her in half.



This is my Pookey. She is very camera shy, so I can never get any good pics of her. If she even sees the camera she automatically turns away and will not look at you until she knows the camera has been put away. She's so smart and such a loving girl. We've had our ups and downs with her, and Hub's will always bring up the story about how I gave her away and then forced him to go and get her back for me. How she peed all over the house as a pup, and how she had separation anxiety so bad that she tore our shit off the walls. But we have gotten through all that and now she is a model dog. She always sleeps under my side of the bed. She's always at my feet. If I move to another chair, she moves to another chair. She loves her treats. She's good with the kids. She's wonderful with Poppy our other dog. She's a good watch dog. She loves her tennis balls.

I guess I am just getting a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that she's not going to be with us much longer. And I don't need Sokka upsetting her. It would suck to be top dog and then go out of this world going "That motherf*cker took my bone, took my attention, beat me up, and broke my hip, why couldn't they just have waited till I was gone to get him?"

I know that's what she's thinking! I can talk to you her! lol

So any help would be appreciated!

We Are The CHAMPIONS My Friends

My Boys did it!

The Stanley Cup is Ours!

The Penguins played a good game, but we still claimed the cup on their ice!

Great Job WINGS!

Love and Affection

I am sad to say that my Boys aka The Wings did not win the game last night.

But who gives a shit, they have 2 more games and only need to win 1!

Last night was one hell of a game. Triple overtime and man those guys were whooped. Tired as hell. I even got tired just watching. And almost had a massive heartattack at some points.

My favorite moments. I'll list 2.

1. Penguins man going head first into the wall and having to be taken out of the game.

2. Penguins man getting smucked in the face with a puck shot by his own man!!!

Great stuff I tell ya!

I am on pins and needles and am ready for game 6.

Let's go Boys, bring that cup home!

Go Wings, It's your Birthday

My Boys have done it again. Game 3, in Penguin domain was won! Tonight is Game 4. If...I mean WHEN (gosh i should have my mouth washed out with soap for that little mix up) we win tonight, on Detroit grounds, we will have won our Stanley Cup! My Wings shirt will be washed and ready to wear once again tonight.

LETS GO BOYS, WIN MAMA THAT CUP!

On another completely different note.....

People are stupid.

Well not all, but allot, yes, are stupid.

Remember Mr. Turtle?

Remember how I saved him, then he sent his beloved family member to thank me and take up residence in my yard? Of course you do. Now, do you remember how I told you about the public service announcements on the radio? How it explained how to handle the turtle if you should find it. How you should pick it up? Where you should move it too?

Well other people must not listen very well. Either that, or it's because they don't speak a lick of fricken English.

I was just driving home from dropping Girly off at school.

I come up to my road and get ready to turn when I see this woman running frantically along the side of the road.

First thought....Oh shit, she's being kidnapped and she might need my help. That's how crazy and wild looking she was.

Then I glanced over in the direction she was running and saw him. Mr. Turtle. Or well, his brother, sister, mother, cousin, wife, husband or just some random Mr. Turtle look-alike slowly making his/her way across the street.

I slowed down to make sure she wasn't going to kick him, or kill him or something that would make me get go and kick her ass for.

She had a towel, picked him up and started running, yes I said running towards her car with him.

YOU DON'T RUN WITH MR. TURTLE. HE MAY DEFECATE OR URINATE AND LOSE PRECIOUS NUTRIENTS FROM HIS BODY AND DIE.

I slowed to a stop. I rolled down my window.

She looked over and continued running towards her car.

"Mam, you need to walk with him!" I yelled over the wind

"Yes" she says and smiles

"Mam, you need to walk or he may get scared and pee on you!"

She slowed to a fast walk to try to hear me.

"Mam, was he faced that way?" I pointed across the road .

"Yes." she says and continues to smile.

"You need to take him over there!" as I point to the other side of the street to the field.

"Yes." she says and looks over to the field.

"You need to take him in the same direction he was faced!" I yelled

"Yes." she says and smiles

"Do you speak English?" I yelled.

"Yes." she yells back

"Then you need to put the turtle closer to the ground, and take him over to that field. In the same direction he was facing. He knows where he needs to go!"

"Yes." she says once again.

Her friend jumps out of their car and they start to pet, yes pet the turtle she is holding. Holy shit if I didn't want to kick their butts.

"Mam, you shouldn't touch him, you may get bacteria on you, or worse you can hurt the turtle."

"Yes"

By then, a car had turned and was waiting patiently behind me to continue down the road. I was tempted to pull over, put the truck in park and go over to these women. But I had the boys with me and I didn't need them to witness me bitching and yelling at these women who don't speak an ounce of English.

What do you do?

I am riddled with guilt. What if they took him. For a pet? Or what if they just put him back on the side of the road and he ends up back in the road and gets smushed?

Hmmmmm.......I guess i can't be the saver of All the desert turtles. Oh the humanity. Maybe if i just spoke Spanish I could have gotten through to them. No...F*ck that, maybe if they spoke fricken English, they could have understood me! Asses!