Adventures of the Chrysler Town and Country

This weekend was hard work. Saturday was one of those days where we got a hair up our asses and just worked, worked, worked. As I may have stated in previous posts, I got that particular hair up my butt a couple weeks ago when I chopped the hell out of some bushes that were out front of the house. I hated those bushes. They completely blocked the view of the front of the house. So I went to town. I took my hedge clippers (which by the way aren't meant for the kind of trimming I did) and took those 3 bushes down to their roots. I took the trimmings and piled them all next to a tree until I could haul them all off to the back acre.
You can see in this pic, on each side of the kids there is a pile of roots. Those are the bushes that I chopped down.


Well this weekend I decided I was gonna haul this humungous pile of crap. I got out the wheelbarrow and took 2 loads out back to the second acre. Then I got sidetracked and took a little detrour with Crazy Boy out to the 3rd acre and looked at the neighbors donkeys, horses, cows and piggies. Then I got sidetracked again, and ended up picking up a wheelbarrow full of trash. Man these people were pigs. All kinds of scrap metal, old sheets and clothes, bottles, cans, cigarette butts, nails, anything you can think of these assholes left on the land. So after a half hour of walking in circles around the last 2 acres, I came back, unloaded my trash into the bin and went to go get some more debris to take back and unload.

Well while I was gone, Hubs and Girly got the idea to take a rope, tie it to the tree that the debris was piled against, run it under the pile of debris and make a bundle. That way we could just drag the whole thing back there and not have to make multiple trips. WONDERFUL! Less work and all that. Well....it ended up being quite the adventure!! lol

See we don't have a truck with a hitch. We don't have a hitch period. And that pile of brush was HEAVY! So as I am contemplating how the hell we are going to drag this thing Hubs comes up with his great idea. He is going to sit in the back of the van, hold onto the rope, and I will drive very slowly back to the 2nd acre while he drags this brush behind the van. Ok, that's cool, but that bitch is heavy. So picture this.

You got an almost 2 yr. old Baby Boy up in the passenger seat. Crazy Boy is inbetween the back seats on the floor, Girly is in the back back with Hubs, and Hubs is in the back back sitting on his butt, knees bent, a board across his knees that has the debris rope tied around it.

"Now go slow" he says "and take that turn really wide so that this doesn't get caught up on the well and stuff."

Okey dokey, no problem. I put the truck into gear, and start ever so slowly to move the van. After about 10 seconds I hear this humungous groan and "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Shit. I hit the breaks.

"What the hell is wrong?? Are you Ok?"

"Yah, yah, I'm fine. This shit is heavy, it almost pulled me out of the van!" All the while we are both laughing our asses off.

So now he gets a better grip on the rope tied 2x4. See at this point we are only a few feet from where we originally started. lol

"Ok, now go, but real slow!"

Put the van in gear once again. This time, I got a few more feet before I hear the groan and AHHHH shit thing again. Hit the breaks.

"You ok? Cause we can just stop now!" We'll find a different way to do this!"

"No, no, I'm good. Just go real slow! I gotta get a good grip on this thing. Be careful though, it might drag me out!"

Gee that's reassuring! lol

So I put the van in gear all the while hearing "slow, slow, ok, wait back up. Ok, now forward. Left..... no right.....Wait, wait wait."

Holy shit.

"your directions suck!!!"

So after a little bickering back and forth, we move once again.

By this time we finally move a ways and get to the second acre and are going through the chain link fence gate.

"OHHHH SHIT, STOP STOP STOP"

Crash, cursing, bang, bang.

Then laughing.

"Holy shit, that thing got caught up on the gate and almost dragged me right out!!"

By this time I am ready to put the damn van in park, and just call it quits. I am about to keel over!

In the meantime you have Girly back there about having a heartattack and laughing at the same time, Crazy sitting there half watching but mostly content at the fact that he doesn't have to be in his car seat and is in a moving vehicle, and Baby Boy sitting in the front seat, playing with my Sonic tator man.

So after getting readjusted and in his position, I am instructed to put the van back in gear and drive "ever so slowly" AGAIN!

This time we finally make it over to the pile of brush built up in the second acre and Hubs is able to let go of the damn rope. We push it over to the pile of shit, and leave it. We didn't even take the stupid rope off of it. Screw it! That rope was toast anyways. To much damn work! lol

Hub's arms and hands are red and shakey and his legs are about the same.

"That was hard damnitt! But it was really fun!!" he says! LOL

Now this is where it gets even more funny. If you all have ever lived on a farm, or not even a farm but whatever, I bet you remember sitting in the back of a truck or sitting on the tailgate and swinging your feet while someone is driving. Well as kids, me and my siblings used to do that all the time. Driving around the farm, just chillen out. It was great to be able to sit in the back of the truck. No seatbelts, nothing. Anyways, my kid's first experience with that was sitting in the back of our van. lol Hubs, Girly and Crazy sat in the back of the van and dangled their feet as I drove us back up to the first acre. LOL, I so wish I had grabbed the camera. We need a truck. My poor Chrysler van cannot take all this farm work! She's just not made to haul trees and brush, or drive around acres of sandy land!

So after that, I took the baby in for a nap, come out a half hour later to Hubs chopping down these 3 trees out in the front of the house. Not with a chainsaw, but with his axe!!! He was lumberjacking those trees!! lol
See those 3 trees right by the garage. Those are what got axed! lol

It was quite the productive day. Garage got cleaned out, brush got moved, trash got picked up, trees got chopped and kids got to partake in the not so traditional tailgate ride.

Then that night we had a bonfire to relax. Had a few friends over and let the kids roast marshmellows. And these are not your normal sized marshmellows. These are gigantic marshmellows. Hubs found them!

Here is Crazy after eating 1 and a 1/2 of them! lol


Here is Girly with her huge roasted marshmellow


And here is Baby Boy enjoying the bonfire!