Can somebody help me PLEASSSE!

Ok, here are a few questions that I really, really, really would like answered.

1. Why is it that it takes Girly 30 minutes to make her lunch? Is it that hard to figure out which kind of chips to take, where the juice boxes are, or find the bologna?

2. And why is that when the bologna or peanut butter are starring right at her, she insists on dragging me away from my blogging duties to tell me there is none (No really she looked hard), only for me to walk over there and grab it from right under her nose?

3. Is it wrong to think of your kid as a ditz?

4. Is it really that hard to turn a light switch off?

5. Why is it that every morning I have to turn 50 million lights off when I come out into the livingroom?

6. How hard is it to put your dishes in the sink or God forbid, the empty dishwasher?

7. Why is it that every morning I have to pick up numerous drinking glasses from coffee tables or bedside tables?

8. Why do the stupid dogs insist on going out, only to turn around 2 seconds later and bark like fricken crazy to be let in? Did you even take a leak?

9. Why is it that as soon as I sell a bunch of crap from my house, I have seemed to acquire more?

10. Why can't Baby Boy sleep through the night?

11. Why can't Crazy crap on the pot?

12. Why can't Girly walk without running into something?

13. Why can't Hubs wake up to his own damn alarm?

14. Why is it that if I am just sitting around the boys will sleep for hours. But as soon as I get in the shower or start a load of laundry they are up?

15. Is it hard to remember to put on a coat in the morning before you walk out the door?

16. Why is it that Aunt Flo waited 6 damn months to show her face?

17. Why do dogs fart then look around and sniff their butts like they are wondering where the noise came from?