Strange Day

Wow, today has been one hell of a day.

Along with our cell phones being dead (see post below), I had a number of strange calls on the home phone.

After getting a good call this morning from escrow for us to come sign our loan documents, a very strange, creepy, and somewhat fun call came in.


Me: "Hello?"

Him: "Hey Baby" said in a very low, almost inaudible voice

Me: "Huh?"

Him: "Who dis?" he says once again in a very low voice

Me: "Who is THIS?"

Him: "This is Warren, who dis?"

Me: "Who?"

Him: "Warren"

Me: "Huh?"

Him: "Hey Baby, can I lick your wet ______?" insert the word that you most likely think he said at this point, and you are more then likely correct.

Me: "Huh?" At this time I was wondering just who the hell this was and kind of flabbergasted at this comment.

Him: "Hey Baby, come on, let me lick your ______!"

Me: "Um,OK, what?"

Him: "Who dis?"

Me: "This is Baby, that's what you just called me right?"

Him: "That's right Baby, can I ______ for you?"

Me: "Ummm, OK, whatever floats your boat."

Him: "Can I lick your _______?"

Me: "Well you could if I was female, see you got me all wrong, I am a transvestite and I have a penis. So well if you like that kind of thing....."

Him: "Huh?"

At this point, Hubs had just gotten home so I walked out to the garage and got ready to hand him the phone. Remember he had NO idea what the hell I was doing, or who I was talking to.

Me: "Here talk to my sugar daddy!"

Hubs looks at me like I am crazy as I hand him the phone.

Hubs: "Who dis?" he says in the best black man accent I have ever heard him do.
"You better lose dis number!" He says multiple times.

Him: "Uh Uh sorry I musta have the wrong number"

Click. The end. Hilarious. I had no idea who this man was, his number came up as unavailable. So I don't know if he meant to call his girlfriend or if it was just some wacko trying to get a rise out of someone. I don't know, but it was funny playing along. Then after Hubs got the phone, and played his role, it got even funnier!

Second phone call was just a bit ago.

Me: "Hello"

Her: "Ella"

Me: "Huh?"

Her: "Ella" or some name similar to that

Me: "Huh? I think you have the wrong number."

Insert numerous spanish words here. I don't know what the hell this lady was saying.

Me: "Um, mam, you have THE WRONG NUMBER"

Insert another long spew of spanish words here.

Me: "MAM, WRONG NUMBER"

More spanish words

Me: "Mam, No habla Espanol! This is an English speaking home"

More spanish words

Me: "MAM, NO HABLA ESPANOL, WRONG NUMBER!"

More spanish words and at the end she does the "I yi yi" like I am the stupid one here.

Me: "Fine mam, Yo quero Taco Bell" I was getting impatient and thought I'd throw that in there.

Insert yet another spew of spanish that I have no idea what she was saying.

Me: "Um OK Mam, well Adios!" and with that I hung up.

So after many many phone calls today, some good, some not so good, and some down right f*cked up, I am finally hanging up that stupid thing and calling it a day. Lets just say the F*cked up ones weren't from that guy or the spanish lady. They were from our lenders telling us other crap that still needed to be done that we didn't know about. I wont go into details, but now everything is cleared and we should be all done by Friday. Holy crap. Man. I need a beer or something! lol Oh and our cell phones just came back on a couple hours ago, and we got a credit of 26 bucks from Suckular for our cells being out of service for almost 4 days straight. Is it enough? No. But I don't feel like being on the phone anymore to bitch about stuff today! lol