Okay, can anyone tell what it is about the Dollar Store that makes kids act like those wild monkeys at the zoo who poo in their hands and throw it at you?
I have taken my children to the Dollar Store twice this last week (I know stupid me) and they look like chickens with their heads cut off as soon as they set foot through those doors.
I literally lost track of Crazy Boy twice on our first trip in that God forsaken store.
I was that mad woman who was yelling at the top of her lungs for her children to get their asses back to me or I was gonna whoop them.
Then, I was stupid enough to take them again yesterday, but I thought I would be good, i had backup. My friend Lue Lue came with me.
No. Backup does not equal better behavior.
Backup just means double the women running around yelling "Get your asses over here!!!"
Backup just means you have children that run even faster to escape being stuck in a cart so they are confined.
But if you get my kids in say Walmart, or the grocery store? No, it's an ok experience.
There must be an ora or vibe that comes from that store that only children feel.
It's like they are hearing...
"Buy me, buy me, I'm only 1 dollar"
"Come on, you can get your mom to spot you a lowly dollar for this one crappy toy that will only last a day before it gets broken into pieces"
"It's only 100 pennies"
"It's only 4 quarters!"
"It's only 10 dimes"
"It's only 1 quarter, 2 dimes, 3 nickels, and 40 pennies!"
The creator of this store must have set it up just right. He or She must have sent some loony toon lady in there before the opening, with her robes, candles and hexxing tools to put a curse on that store before it's grand opening.
"Ahhhhh dear spirits from the other world. Please send down, upon this store, a sign. A sign of good fortune and wealth. Please put upon the customers that enter this store a curse. Let the children roam free and spend all their parent's money. Let the children gather as many items as they can and cry when they can only have 1 dollar. Let the parents have the knowledge that if they do not give their children this dollar, they will have the wrath of the devil bestowed upon them through their children."
Yep, I bet that's how it went.
Does anyone else have these type of experiences at the Dollar store??
Or are my kids just devils in disguise??
7 comments:
I think you have actually come up with the very reason why dollar stores never last a year in my town!
That or no one needs an abundance of shaving cream and giant Spiderman coloring books!
today i actually went into the dollar store-and there were kids running everywhere with water guns in their hands. no parents just kids. it was insane. moms were all gathered around the birthday bags...i assume a birthday party was in the works or something, but yeah...chaos for days.
it's a kid magnet store because everything is a dollar and who cares if they break anything-it's a buck. but if they break like a hundred 1 dollar things then yeah-serious problem there. lol.
your children are not devil spawns.
Your kids are just the devils in disguise....hahahahahahahaha!!
Now I'm for sure never taking Princess to a dollar store...especially with your kids in tow :D
I do have to say that I love the dollar store, but I'm sure that is subconsciously why I've never taken her with me.
I've never taken my kids to the Dollar Tree but we used to have the World's Best Dollar Tree in Houston...it was newer and kept really nicely. I couldn't believe the quality stuff they had for a buck! The one here (same chain and all...) is OK but nothing like that one. I miss it...is that sad?
P.S. The outlet mall at the Wisconsin Dells has the same effect you were discussing on my kids. They lose their EVER LOVIN' MINDS every time we go there. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life...
see, now that's why you have to import some of our red-necked toothless cashiers to your store. one look at THEM and your kids will be too scared to step out of line.
shit, our cashiers even scare ME.
it's the millionzez and millionzez of goody-goodies on the shelf that scream for children to take them home... All the bright colorzez, and knick-knackzez shouting... "I'm yours, I'm yours - take me"
you give me hope for having a little boy...
i love the dollar store, but now i know to not bring my son there when he's older.
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