Monday, June 02, 2008

Go Wings, It's your Birthday

My Boys have done it again. Game 3, in Penguin domain was won! Tonight is Game 4. If...I mean WHEN (gosh i should have my mouth washed out with soap for that little mix up) we win tonight, on Detroit grounds, we will have won our Stanley Cup! My Wings shirt will be washed and ready to wear once again tonight.

LETS GO BOYS, WIN MAMA THAT CUP!

On another completely different note.....

People are stupid.

Well not all, but allot, yes, are stupid.

Remember Mr. Turtle?

Remember how I saved him, then he sent his beloved family member to thank me and take up residence in my yard? Of course you do. Now, do you remember how I told you about the public service announcements on the radio? How it explained how to handle the turtle if you should find it. How you should pick it up? Where you should move it too?

Well other people must not listen very well. Either that, or it's because they don't speak a lick of fricken English.

I was just driving home from dropping Girly off at school.

I come up to my road and get ready to turn when I see this woman running frantically along the side of the road.

First thought....Oh shit, she's being kidnapped and she might need my help. That's how crazy and wild looking she was.

Then I glanced over in the direction she was running and saw him. Mr. Turtle. Or well, his brother, sister, mother, cousin, wife, husband or just some random Mr. Turtle look-alike slowly making his/her way across the street.

I slowed down to make sure she wasn't going to kick him, or kill him or something that would make me get go and kick her ass for.

She had a towel, picked him up and started running, yes I said running towards her car with him.

YOU DON'T RUN WITH MR. TURTLE. HE MAY DEFECATE OR URINATE AND LOSE PRECIOUS NUTRIENTS FROM HIS BODY AND DIE.

I slowed to a stop. I rolled down my window.

She looked over and continued running towards her car.

"Mam, you need to walk with him!" I yelled over the wind

"Yes" she says and smiles

"Mam, you need to walk or he may get scared and pee on you!"

She slowed to a fast walk to try to hear me.

"Mam, was he faced that way?" I pointed across the road .

"Yes." she says and continues to smile.

"You need to take him over there!" as I point to the other side of the street to the field.

"Yes." she says and looks over to the field.

"You need to take him in the same direction he was faced!" I yelled

"Yes." she says and smiles

"Do you speak English?" I yelled.

"Yes." she yells back

"Then you need to put the turtle closer to the ground, and take him over to that field. In the same direction he was facing. He knows where he needs to go!"

"Yes." she says once again.

Her friend jumps out of their car and they start to pet, yes pet the turtle she is holding. Holy shit if I didn't want to kick their butts.

"Mam, you shouldn't touch him, you may get bacteria on you, or worse you can hurt the turtle."

"Yes"

By then, a car had turned and was waiting patiently behind me to continue down the road. I was tempted to pull over, put the truck in park and go over to these women. But I had the boys with me and I didn't need them to witness me bitching and yelling at these women who don't speak an ounce of English.

What do you do?

I am riddled with guilt. What if they took him. For a pet? Or what if they just put him back on the side of the road and he ends up back in the road and gets smushed?

Hmmmmm.......I guess i can't be the saver of All the desert turtles. Oh the humanity. Maybe if i just spoke Spanish I could have gotten through to them. No...F*ck that, maybe if they spoke fricken English, they could have understood me! Asses!

7 comments:

Carrie said...

I am learning SO MUCH about turtles from you! seriously!


troy's a big detroit fan. we got his mom one of those 'wing nut' hats.. have you seen them? she totally wears it, too.

oh well. go wings!

Jamie said...

LOL how funny! You go Ms. Turtle Saver;)

Christie E. Little said...

Ok, so you're not the savor, but you do a pretty damn good job of trying. I did my turtle duty the other day. I saw it from a distance and made sure I drove over and not on top of mr. turtle va. LOL. I tried.
xoxo
Christie

Me said...

I didn't know you were such a turtle lover :)

You should have just run the ladies over :)

ALRO said...

double overtime hun!! woot!

pls, tell yer sis ALRO613@gmail.com is my email addy so that she may add me to her blog list..

go wings..

ALRO said...

Ooooooh.. heartbreak... triple overtime loss!!!

Do-Over on Wednesday!!!
I'm so tired.

for a different kind of girl said...

you need a turtle template for your blog!

Those two were probably home later that day sipping turtle soup. I had no idea there was so much to know about turtles, but I am going to start using this information in my life!