Please Give Me a Fork, I want to Gouge My Eyes Out!

dentist, kids, screaming, fork, eyes, gouge.

I said they were free to good home, why hasn't anyone called?

Feels like Forever

It's only been like 3 days since I last posted, but it feels like FOREVER! Don't get me wrong, I don't have squat to post about, but I could entertain you with something. But I wont....because...well...I don't feel like it. I haven't been around to anyone else's blogs either, and well....I don't feel like it. So sue me! lol

I will say though that I have lost almost 5 pounds in the last couple weeks. I am very proud of myself. Hubs has lost about 20. And the great thing, we have done it together. We've been walking/running every night with the kiddos, and we've been eating so much better. We've been portioning everything we eat, and that helps tremendously. So that way we can grab a snack, and it's already pre-portioned out and we wont overeat. But my question is...why the heck does it seem so much easier for him to lose the weight then me? Men seem to just shed the pounds while I am over here working my butt off. I don't get it. Oh well, it'll come off eventually right? Just watch, I'll lose all my weight, then get pregnant again. Never fails. Nope, we aren't done yet, I would at least like another girl, but I told hubs if the next one is a boy, we aren't done till I get my other girl!! lol

Ok, well, that's about all the excitement I have for you. I know you were just jumping out of your chairs waiting for my next post weren't you? Well, I aim to please! Just wait for the next one, you may get to hear about boobs, boogers or beavers again.....Oh the anticipation.

Sissy's visit

Although very short, Sissy's visit was allot of fun. We went to the wineries, and drove for hours on end. lol. We ended up getting them back to Vegas pretty late last night, but had fun bumming a bit, and seeing the Freemont St. Experience before we left. Wasn't all that, but it was kinda cool. We did our usual stupid picture taking, and had allot of laughs.

Here is Sissy and I finally taking a serious picture.



Kiddos and Auntie Beth



They really do love each other!! lol (Don't mind Hub's expression, it really wasn't that bad! lol)



That sicko wouldn't keep her hands off of my beaver!!! hehehehehe




Mmmmm, pickles at ClaimJumpers!


I wont say what Beth did in this picture to make her laugh so hard!!



Baby Boy giving Auntie's belly kisses!




This asshole cut us off big time. So I decided to snap his picture. You can't see his face, but after he saw the flash, he didn't look to happy! lol I was gonna blow him a kiss, but Hubs was driving to fast.




Say Cheese!

Locked and Loaded and Ready to Shoot

Lookey these here pictures. That would be Girly. She thinks she's a model. I do believe she has been watching way to much "America's Next Top Model". But, gosh she is beautiful! The shotgun is waiting, and ready to go for when those boys start showing up.




Crazy wanted to model too. I love how he's sporting that ever popular forehead band-aid. He's going to be the new Band-Aid Kid!!! lol


I decided to be a copycat, and get a haircut like Sissy. But you know, my hair never turns out as cute as hers. Of course, I was to chicken to cut off as much (I cut off 6 inches) and my hair is allot finer then hers. I like it though, and it feels sooo much cooler!


I thought this picture was cute. It totally reminds me of a picture of Sissy when she was little and in the tub.

Mornings suck

This morning started out as any typical morning. Woken up by Crazy, he climbs into bed with me, I turn on PBS and he watches it for an hour while I try to get my lazy butt out of bed. Only this morning, he taps me on the shoulder and says

"Momma, I dropped my Nuk in the potty."

Half asleep still, I tried to process what he just said.

"What? You did what?"

"I dropped my Nukky in the potty."

"Ummm, huh?"

"It fell in the potty"

I sit up trying to figure out the slurring words because he has the Nuk in his mouth.

"Your Nuk fell in the potty?"

"Yah"

"Ummm, before or after you went pee in the potty?"

"Huh?" (insert raised eyebrow and quizzical look from boy here, like I am the Crazy one)

Get up, pull the Nuk from his mouth, and throw it in the dishwasher. And don't even get me started on the fact that he is to damn old for his Nuk. I know this information. But hell, I am lazy, and I hate to hear him scream. So call me a wuss.

Bonus:

Just a wee bit of information. All repairs and necessary crap is done to the house we plan on buying. But it looks as if we will be waiting possibly another month to move in. The sellers are asking for a bit more time due to their own stupidity. See they are building another house. So far it is a beautiful slab in the nice part of town. That's right, a slab. So because they are stupid and unprepared to move, and have no where to live, we have decided to give the go ahead to wait another month. But I am telling you, if it takes any longer then a month, we are backing on the damn deal!

Go Figure

I have jinxed myself, or better yet, Hubs jinxed me. He made me do it. He made me blog about how the Baby Boy has been letting me sleep through the night. Where do you think that got me? Yeah, it got me up TWICE last night. I swear, I am a glutton for punishment. Just like in Monopoly. I know I shouldn't count the number of squares I need to get to Boardwalk. But I do it anyways. And do I roll that number? Of course not. I end up landing on someones f*cken railroad or some shit. Geesh!

Last night I couldn't sleep anyways. I was sitting there thinking of all the crap I wanted to do to the new house. What paint color should I get? Should I get new hardware for the bathrooms? If I get new hardware, I'll need to get new towel hooks, and new matching toilet roll holders. When will we have the money to re-side? What color should the new siding be? Will we have to re insulate? What color should the bedroom be? What kind of new carpeting do I want? What color?

Holy Crimity.....SHUT UP BRAIN!!!

So what did I do? I got up, and played around on the computer. Yeah that got my eyes all nice and droopy. So an hour later, I crawled back into bed. Only to be woken up an hour after to screaming Baby Boy. And after all that, and going in there to console him, he screams even louder when I take him out of the crib to rock him. What an ungrateful brat! lol So I just give him a peck, and lay him back down. Go figure, he rolls over and passes out. Now I have to go back to bed and try to fall asleep once more. Only to be woken up 3 hours later to Hub's alarm and a screaming kid. Holy crap kid. 2 times? Why? So I go in there, change him butt, tell him to go back to sleep, and lay him down.

So the next time Hubs, you feel the need to advise me on what to post.....shut the hell up!!! lol

But I still love ya!

He made me do it

I'm suppose to post (as said by Hubs) about how I have been able to sleep through the night for about the last month.

Well you know, now that I am able to sleep through the night, I am Superwoman and can jump from building to building in a single bound. I can do mounds of laundry in record time and dry them with my heat vision, and wash dishes at the speed of light.

"Well you always blogged about how you never got any sleep and the baby got you up 3 or 4 times a night. So why don't you blog about how you now get to sleep through the night?"

Well simply because when I am not bitching and moaning about something, this blog is no fun.

So that is why today's post is no fun.

And he says all I ever do is bitch about him and make him look bad....hmmmphhhh, that is so not true!

My Weekend in Pics

Boxes, boxes, and more boxes. Packing up the house and getting crap taken down. Loads of fun.




This would be my cool, little dude. I tell you this little guy gets all the ladies.



And last but certainly not least... My tootsies. Yes, today I went out and got myself a pedicure. My little old men, as my Hubs would call them, came back all shiny and sparkly. Not to mention callus free and with a fresh coat of paint. I know, some of you may look at them and want to hurl, but hell, they have personality. And you see those beautiful tan lines. Yes, those are compliments of my slippers that I refuse to take off my feet all summer. I still wear the flip flops I bought when we lived in Hawaii. I could wear them all year long. And those little dents on my left foot, those are carpet marks, so don't go saying I have wrinkly feet mmmkay?? lol



And that would be my exciting weekend. Packing and pedicures! Gotta love it!

Clarification

Ok, just to clarify the cow in the tub thing, although I have a deep love for cows *wink wink* I do not mean I would like to bath with a cow in the moonlight (Stacie, you smartass! lol) What I meant is I would love to take a nice, long bath with a glass of wine! Uninterrupted, and NO, not with Hubs!! (lol at Carrie)

Although....maybe if he is nice to me.....

hehehehehehe

This is what I need to do!

I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight

OK, this post has nothing to do with chicken, but hell it sounded good.

Wow, it's been a while, and I have been lazy.

Yesterday was gorgeous. No sun. Clouds all day long and gloomy. It only got up to 100. Beeutiful!!! I was outside with the kids all day long. Now today it's sunny again, and suppose to get to 105. Dammit sun, go away for crying out loud! Ughh!

House coming along. Appraisal done, and waiting on repairs. Hopefully we will be moving soon.

Gosh, other then Crazy swearing like a Marine, I have absolutely nothing to talk about. That's right, his new word of choice is ass. I have absolutely no idea where he may have gotten that from.......well.....yes I do, but hey I am not the only one that says it all the time *points finger in Hub's direction*

OK, I will bring this up only because I am desperate and can't think of a damn thing to post about. Picture the situation. Hubs don't kill me for this, I am a desperate blogger.

This last weekend I am sneaking away to take a shower. Hubs is home, which means I can take a shower bright and early in the morning without worrying that the kids are unsupervised. Usually it takes me till mid-afternoon when Baby is sleeping to get my showers.

I shut the door tightly and even think about locking it to keep Crazy out. But I don't. Just in case Hubs needs to get in to do something or whatever.

So as I strip down to get into my uninterrupted shower, the door opens. Hubs walks in.

I look at him and say "whatchya doin?"

He looks around and says "I was gonna see if I could join you?"

Ummmm, ya, ok so much for my uninterrupted shower.

So I say, "So where are the kids and who's going to watch them?" thinking at any moment I am going to have to shower with a room full of kids, as is usually the case.

He looks around. I was almost waiting for the finger to go to his mouth and start tapping his chin. I believe he was thinking that hard.

"Oh...yah...Ok." and he walks out.

Now I guess my question is...do guys not think?? lol Does it not occur to them that when you have children they must be supervised? Especially little ones that are crawling about and stick things in their mouths. I mean, I, as a mother, am always thinking of the kids. Where are they? Are they getting into something? Why are they so quiet? Did I lock the front door security lock so Crazy can't get out even if he unlocks all the door knob locks?

Even when I do go to take a shower, and Baby is asleep, I make sure Crazy is settled comfortably with the babysitter (aka the TV) , with a snack, a juice and with Girly seated near by in case she needs to come running to me to tell me he's choking or some shit. Only at that point do I feel comfortable enough to take my 5 minute, wash my hair, wash my ass as quick as I can shower and jump out just in time to hear the 2 of them going at it over which stupid cartoon to watch.

Is it this way with every couple?

OK, enough of that. I am going to be in trouble now.

*smooch smooch* I love you Hubs lol

A Big, Huge.....

F You to the Sun and Heat Gods. I know you all hear me bitch day in and day out about this heat and crap here, but for crying out loud I can't even leave my damn house without melting into a stinkin puddle.

Last night Hubs and I were outside on the patio. It was 9:30 or 10 pm and when I checked the temp....102. Even after the sun goes down, and all that, it is still over 100.

Heat stroke. That's all that comes to mind. Well that, and I wish I had a skinny, little, cute body because then I wouldn't be so afraid to go outside butt naked. But at this rate, all you neighbors are gonna have to suck it up, and kiss my rear because I am ready to show off this not so great, less then stellar, chubby birthday suit.

Pull down the blinds, and hide the children because I am raring to go! lol

Because I am cool like that...

and also because it is the 4th of July, I am going to torture you all with more picture vomit. Thanks to Bossy, that is my new term...lol


We saw this coyote on our trip to Vegas last weekend. He kept running from me, the little bastard, so this is the only picture that turned out.




These are my two little boys. Yah, Yah, they look cute, but you can't hear them through the picture.





This is one of my little pooches, his name is Poppy. If you want to get all technical and shit, his real name is Sir Poppy of Brandymill. He's a Pekingese. He's also gay, but who am I to judge!


And this would be Pookey. She's my baby. She is a Lhasa Apsos, Dauchstan mix. We've had her since before Girly was born. She is sick right now. The damn neighbor dog gave her kennel cough. So she's not liking me very much, especially when I try to shove pills down her throat, and make her swallow gross cough syrup. But...I found the trick. Dogs love Kahlua pork. Even with pills and cough syrup mixed in.






This is what happens to Crazy when Girly gets her hands on him. Yes, that is a headband, and yes that is the cheesiest smile I have ever seen! lol That picture will someday be used against him!






And this is the world's most flattering picture of myself and Baby Boy! *gag* He is glued to my side at the moment, so I am not able to get a picture without some part of him being in it! lol



Everyone have a safe and fun 4th of July. Don't go blowing up any illegal fireworks this evening. Those things are strictly reserved for Moi!!! lol Just kidding, just kidding, as I have said before I would never, ever purchase illegal fireworks!

Heat Wave

Holy Crap, we have an excessive heat warning for the week. It's suppose to get up to 114 on Wednesday. Unbelievable. I hope Sissy gets herself one of those little fans that sprays water while it fans you because she is going to DIE in Vegas when she comes out. Vegas usually runs at least 3 to 5 degrees higher then us, and being pregnant and walking in this heat...... ICK!!! She sure picked a crappy time to come out! lol Word of advice to you Sissy.... Make good use of that air conditioned hotel room you got there, or better yet, get tickets to allot of shows that are in the air conditioned hotels! lol When you come to see me, I will wine and dine you with cool, refreshing virgin drinks. lol That is while I chug down the good ones! lol And since we are headed down to the wineries, it is a good 10 to 15 degrees lower down that way. So that'll be good.

The drive in was fun last night. The kids loved the movie, and we thought it was pretty cute too. The kids mowed on popcorn and pretzels. Baby Boy LOVED the popcorn, and ended up crashing out on the ground. He must have went into a popcorn coma or something because once he was out, he was OUT. Even after moving him into the van, buckling him in, getting home, and then taking him out of the van and into the house he didn't make a peep. He woke up enough for me to change his butt, and then he conked right back out again. The slept in till 8 am this morning. Hallelujah!!! I am one happy camper! lol

OK, I am off to finish some laundry and then find a way to get the kids out but stay cool. Hmmmm, yeah, that's not gonna happen!

Been a while...

I think this is the longest I have gone without posting in a while!

This weekend was a long one.

Friday was Hubs's Birthday. The big 3-0. I didn't do my usual Happy Birthday post. So to you Honey, Happy Birthday! Don't worry, I still love you even though you think you are old! lol

Saturday was just another hot, sticky day. Did a little shopping at Walmart, then went to a friend's house about a half hour away to watch some fireworks. It sucked! It lasted a bit over 2 or 3 mins maybe. Yah, sucked! We did celebrate a little on our own though with our much wanted purchases from Vegas. I didn't bring the camera though, so I didn't get any pictures.

Tonight we are going to the drive in to watch a movie. That new Disney movie. Whatever the hell the name of it is. Getting some ice cream, eating some theatre munchies and watching a movie outside seems like the perfect end to the weekend.

I am really starting to hate these summer days. I love the sun, I love being outside, but when it gets to be over 100, it's so miserable you can't even go outside. Right now, it is 4:30pm and it is 109. Crazy shit. The kids always want to go out and play in the pool and all that, but just sitting out there just makes you start to feel queasy. I got one hell of a sunburn last weekend though, going out mid-day and mowing and weedwacking. Yah, I wanted to rid myself of the dreaded farmer's tan I had going on, so I put on my tank top, and went out. Yah, I was hurting for a week or so. Did I get rid of the tan? Uh, no. My body seems to only tan in certain areas, now my lower arms are really dark. My back and cleavage area just got burnt all to shit. lol Gotta love being a really white girl! lol

Ok, I am off to eat, and get ready to go watch a movie. Hope everyone's weekend was good! Tata!